January 13, 2007

• Dave's best friend Steve is going to be moving to Kentucky this weekend, so last night we hung out with him. I picked up Dave about 8:15 or so and then swung by and got Mark before heading over to Steve's. His neighbor Kevin was there, this was the first time I met him. He is probably about 4 or 5 inches taller than me (I'm 5'6) and is kinda bulky. Anywho, Steve had said that he couldn't go out because he had to pack, but we talked him into going out. Kevin said he knew of a "tiny, hole in the wall bar that is laid back and with not many people." Kevin said that we should take his car, which was a large SUV which he claims cost $50,000, and honestly, I think it probably did or at least within the $50,000 neighborhood. I would not be drinking, so after we left the bar, I would be driving. We headed over to a place called Bobby's Tap in Joliet. Kevin was driving and I was in the passenger seat. Dave mentioned that he needed to go to the cash station. Kevin said he had a cash station in his glove box. He asked me to open it and get out the owner's manual to his car. He asked me to go into a little folder inside the manual and pull out the money. I pull it out and it was a wad of cash about this big. If only you could see my hand right now. It had to be about $500, maybe more of mostly hundreds and several twentys. He handed Dave a $100 bill, although a few minutes later, Dave gave it back to him in exchange for one of the twentys. We got to the bar and although it was tiny, it was packed for some reason. Kevin started by buying everybody drinks, sans me who was going to be the DD. The whole time we were at this place, Mark, Steve and Dave were not only never without a drink, but pretty much two fisted the whole damn time. I could sense that this was probably going to be a wild and legendary night.

  After staying there for about an hour or so, we left and headed over to a place that Kevin claimed had a lingerie show. Kevin insisted that he was ok to drive, and for some reason, I let him drive. Turns out, the place had closed down. So, we headed back across Joliet to a place called Alpha's. which was a dance club. I expected the place to be packed, but really wasn't. Kevin paid for everybody's cover and soon started paying for all the drinks. I thought that he probably had to make tons of money, but Steve said that the guy only makes about $40,000 a year and with a family and a house, I didn't think that was enough to be spending what he was spending throughout the night. And it wasn't like he was not wanting to spend this money, in fact, he was getting pissed if somebody else paid for the drinks. He just seemed to nice to be true. Shit, even on the way into the club, as he handed me over his keys he said "I'm not the type of guy that would get pissed if you crashed my $50,000 car." I was starting to think that he might have some sort of mafia ties. In fact, I even asked him this while we were driving. Steve wound up dancing with some chicks while Mark and I talked and Kevin and Dave hung out in the back of the bar. There was this other room that nobody was in with an air hockey table and a couple of poker tables that nobody was using. Dave and Steve spent some time in that room talking about Steve leaving, although I wasn't in the room, I could see Dave was very animated and upset about him leaving. Later, Mark and I went back there and Dave, Mark and I played a card game called 99. Fun shit. Right about 1:40, the waitress came up and said it was last call. Dave ordered a vodka and cranberry juice and Mark got another beer. She came back with them and literally within a matter of about 2 minutes, this asshole bouncer came in and said that they were closed and we had to leave. He would spend the next 10 minutes or so coming back in there trying to get us to leave. At first I tried telling him that they just got their drinks but he was a complete dick, he would not let me talk and just kept saying that they were closed. It wasn't even 2AM yet, which is the time they close. Finally  he came back in there again and he gave me a chance to talk. I said that I thought it was kind of bullshit that they just got their drinks (Dave's drink was $6) and had even had a chance to drink them. I said that it was wrong to have the waitress call last call, bring the drinks and then ask us to leave. When he first came over there, Dave had not drank anything. I told him that if we were going to be leaving, we should get a refund for the damn drinks, but he didn't seem to care. He said that the $6 drink is not worth the $500 fine they would get for serving past 2. We walked out towards a set of double doors at the entrance to the bar. Kevin, however, was still in the place, he was talking to the bartender. Security kept yelling at us to leave but I said we could not leave without Kevin and yelled at them to kick him out. Finally, about 2:15, we left.

  Everybody was hungry, but still wanted to party. Kevin said we should head over to the Empress. I started driving with Kevin in the passenger seat. For some reason, he had the damn window down. I quickly found out why, as he hung his head out the window and threw up as I drove. I kept asking him if he wanted me to pull over, but he insisted I keep driving. Oh, and he told me that I was being too hard on his brakes. As we drove into the road that takes us into the casino, he had his head hanging out the window throwing up as we drove past some deer on the side of the road. He told me to drop him off at the front of the door, said something to me and walked off. I parked the car and the rest of us got out to head inside. Now, those of you that aren't familiar with the casino set up, it is quite a walk from the parking lot to the actual casino. First, as soon as you get into the building, you get carded, which seemed to take forever on the account of Dave's expired license. After that, there is a huge area with a buffet, a deli area, a nightclub and a bar. This is all well before you get to the casino. We started to look for Kevin. I thought he said that he would be near the food and the only place that was still open that served food was physically inside the casino. We looked inside the bathroom and all over the part before you get to the casino and couldn't find him. It appeared that we have lost a grown man, as outside of me, nobody could believe that he would actually be able to make it into the casino, he was that drunk. Mark and I went into the casino near the food section and he wasn't there. Finally, we found him at the blackjack table. I went downstairs to get some grub. I ordered a turkey and cheese sandwich and for some reason, it took like 15 minutes to get it. Now, this is just a deli in the casino, it supposed to only take only a few minutes. As I sat down and took one bite, Mark walked up and said that Kevin had lost $1000. I thought he was kidding, but just a few short minutes later, Kevin came walking up and looked PISSED. Everybody was telling me to either take the sandwich with me or hurry up and eat the sandwich, Dave even kept asking for bites. I was shoveling this damn thing in my mouth and eating as fast as I could. I got about halfway down when Kevin said "fuck, I can't take it anymore, I have to get out of here" and started to leave. I was determined to stay there and finish eating but he told me earlier that he had a spare set of keys on him, so I didn't think my meal was worth him driving drunk. So, I shoveled the damn thing into my mouth as we walked back to the car.

  Kevin was so pissed, on the way out, he kicked a garbage can. I wish I could say that was the worst thing he did. We got back to the car and I unlocked the doors. He open his door and all of a sudden started beating the shit out of his supposed to be $50,000 car. He was punching and kicking it. He started to take thing out of it and throw them and kick them, including his kid's Etch-A-Sketch. We all just stood there, stunned. Dave picked up the Etch-A-Sketch and put it back in the car. Kevin hit it a couple of times and threw it on the driver's seat. I put it in the back seat and started the car. It was so quiet in the car, you could cut the tension with a knife. All of a sudden, I hear Dave say "it still works" meaning the Etch-A-Sketch. It was classic, the perfect, classic line. So fucking funny, but I didn't want to laugh too much because Kevin was still fuming. He was punching the damn dashboard on occasion, saying things like "I can't believe that happened" or "I can't believe I did that, I'm so angry I can kill somebody." Meanwhile, I had to drive this fucker's car home. Everybody else was in the back seat talking football while Kevin kept saying those things. Steve, who always means well but has a way of saying shit that makes things worse, said something along the lines of "Kevin, aren't you a lot better at Texas Hold-Em?" The boys still wanted to go to eat, but I knew I had to take Kevin home. He told me "not to stop on the way home" but for some reason, I don't think he meant to eat, I think he meant at stop signs and stop lights. What is probably only about a 10 minute drive seemed more like 2 hours. It didn't help that for most of the way, Kevin was hanging his head out the door throwing up. When we pulled into the driveway, he didn't say a word to us and went into the house. We walked back to Steve's house and Dave said "Oh, I'm going to keep this!" He pulled out of his jacket the Etch-A-Sketch! Dave had really made out quite nicely, not only did he not pay for any drinks, but he never gave Kevin back that $20!

  We dropped Steve off and for the next 20 minutes drove around looking for some place to eat. Mark kept insisting there is a Denny's in Joliet, but that wasn't the case, so we settled on Steak N Shake. Dave brought the Etch-A-Sketch in with us. It was then that I noticed that the damn thing had the kid's name on it. We saw this cutie that I used to play cards with, Dustin. We told him the story, he thought it was funny as hell. He also told me that he is having a card game on Sunday night, I'm going to go. And because I think he might be gay, hopefully I will get to know him more, if you know what I mean.

  Anywho, at the Steak N Shake, there was this old, thin, biker type dude that was passed out at a table. Across from him, he had a guitar. I thought it would have been funny as hell to take the guitar and leave the Etch-A-Sketch, but I couldn't talk Dave into doing it. I wish he had, though, it would have been a great way to end a pretty wild night.

  • 3:32 pm
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