March 21, 2007

• Ok, this is going to show just how demented my sense of humor is and what I find funny. Last week I was sitting there at work when just out of the blue, as happens to me often, something popped into my head. And because I like to make people laugh, I decided to tell everybody (and to text Mark later when I went on break). I don't know if any of you have seen the movie "The Neverending Story, but do you remember the scene when the huge dog like thing told the kid he was dying (the dog was dying, not the kid) and the kid started crying? Well, wasn't that funny? See, I didn't really think this scene was funny, but I just told everybody that just to illicit a response and make everybody laugh. And you know what, for the most part, it worked, people found it funny. Ok, so maybe in retrospect, the kid crying was kind of funny. But, I like to get a reaction out of people. See, I used to do the same thing to my mother when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. For example, my mom would be watching her stupid soap operas (or as she called it, her "stories") and there would be some sort of intense scene in which somebody was dying or something bad was happening. And as I would pass through the room, I would look at the tv and start laughing and say something like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! His wife AND kid are both dead!" My mom's response was always to me, funny. She would always get pissed and yell at me "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!??? WHAT, ARE YOU CRACKING UP???? DO I HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO A DOCTOR?" And I would just walk out of the room, laughing. Shit, I'm even laughing now as I think about it. Damn, I'm so fucking immature. But still, to me, its always funny to see how people react when you say something off the wall like that. My mom was priceless though, as she did not have a very good sense of humor, so instead of finding it funny, she would get pissed. And its not like I liked getting my mother pissed, because I did not want to be the one that really pissed her off (although most of the time, I was), but for some reason, I found this sort of thing funny as hell. Correction, I still find it funny as hell. And its not like I'm into the whole shock humor, because honestly, I'm not. But its just the off the wall, out of nowhere humor that cracks me so thoroughly up. I also tend to have a dark sense of humor, which certainly helps. And lets face it, sometimes, its just flat out funny when people cry. For example, you ever watch the Little League World Series? I know this isn't very nice of me, but when a kid strikes out and walks back to the bench crying or when a pitcher loads the bases and is standing there on the mound, tears streaming down both cheeks, I laugh. Sure, I feel bad for the kid, after all, better him than me. But, a bigger part of me is laughing because it still is kind of funny. Shit, I should just stop now, because this is not making me look good at all. But no, instead I will continue on, because hey, as I mentioned, sometimes its funny to watch a guy bury himself. See, its like how the old saying goes: "It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man".  That was an old Deep Thought, by Jack Handey, which was a thing on Saturday Night Live. But come on, its true. Sometimes, its just funny to watch a person cry. Their voice gets all whiney and funny sounding, they have snot going everywhere and usually, you can't understand a damn thing they are saying. Now its not to say that I laugh at funerals when people are crying, because I don't. But, in other instances, like when an athlete retires and they have the press conference in which they are sitting there, sobbing uncontrollably, its fucking downright hysterical. Even if you can't hear them, its still funny, because people make the funniest faces when they cry. Just think about when kids cry, a lot of times, adults laugh at them, like when a kid cries after seeing Santa. Its funny, so why all of a sudden, when its an adult crying, its no longer funny? Of course, this makes me sound really insensitive, but there have been plenty of times that somebody is crying and I console or hug them and as they are hugging me, I'm standing there with a smile on my face, trying hard not to laugh. Then, as soon as the hug is over and they see my face, the smile is gone. God damn, I am such a fucking dick! Now I should stop before I really look just totally unredeemable. Quick, I need to change the subject. Oh, I know!

  I still can't believe that damn dog eats his own shit!

  • 10:18 pm
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