April 25, 2007

• The village was supposed to take the remains of my bushes today. I guess I should clarify, they said they would pick them up 24-48 hours from Monday. I need to call them tomorrow and say "dude, what the fuck". Not that I'm upset at all, I'm really not. If they don't take them, I will just have to bag them or force Keith and Heather to have a burn at their house, say, maybe the day after John's birthday, Saturday May 12th. And since I can't fit it in my car, I would force Randy to go that night so that he can transport the bushes to their house. Not that I'm inviting myself over or insisting upon the use of Randy's truck, but I'm just saying, should the event arise.

  Well, I've got huge news. I had a feeling this day would come, at least eventually. Yesterday, I was forced to come out of the closet at work. Everybody was shocked, some people laughed, nobody thought I was serious. But, I had to convince them that it was true and this shocked them even more. That's right, I had to come out of the closet and admit that I own a Stryper cd. See, somebody gave this Jehovah Witness a Stryper dvd as a joke. He said that it would be funny to give it to me, seeing as I'm an atheist. That's when I had to come out and say that I owned their cd and was a fan back in the day. What can I say, though, except that it was the 80s and my older brother liked them. And at the time, I had no idea they were a Christian rock band. Now, those of you that remember them are probably thinking "wow, you are a slow fuck, how could you miss that one?" Well, keep in mind that  I was only 11 or so when they were popular and even more clueless than I am now, if you can believe that. So even though their lyrics were dripping with Christian references and they had a bible verse on the cover of their "To Hell With The Devil" album, I still had no idea it was about God until somebody pointed it out to me. After I found out, I was dumb enough to think that was cool because at the time, I was still (shutters at the thought) Catholic. And John didn't exactly help matters either, what with him liking so much pussy music. I don't mean music that got him pussy, but I mean pussy as in wussy music. I guess I should have suspected something, what with songs such as "The Way" "Calling On You" and lyrics like "Christ is the way" Long ago there was a man.........who died for you" In a land of freedom, God has shed his grace" and the fact that they thank "The Champion Jesus Christ", shit, this all should have been a dead giveaway. Oh for Christ's sake, I really was a complete dumbass. Although I am ashamed to admit I listened to and liked Stryper, I can also not deny it. Ah, fuck me, I got their songs now stuck in my head. Fuck. Quick, I'll put on my Bruce Willis cd.

  • 9:58 pm
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