May 30, 2007

• Well, today was finally the big test for the stupid boring ass class I was taking for work. I was to take the test at 2 in the pm. I arrived promptly in our HR department where they set me up in front of a computer to take the 75 question multiple choice (or in my case, multiple guess) test, for which I was given 3 hours to complete. Shit, 3 hours, that's a LOT of time, just look at it this way, I could average 25 questions an hour and still finish on time. Its not like this is an essay test, every single question is multiple choice. But, I guess they want to make sure each person has plenty of time to fail...........I mean take the test. The test itself was kind of tough, but what made it worse was that once again, I wasn't paying attention to the questions. I kept thinking about weird shit, for example, could I steal the speakers to the computer? I wonder what they would do if I just stuffed them in my shirt like I had a pair of tits. Then I thought about how I could pretty much masterbate right in the room here and they would never know. I mean, how would they react if they came into the room and my pants were down by by ankles and I was yankin' away? And the test was so boring, I started to fall asleep, in fact, I could feel my head bob a couple of times. So, about an hour into the thing, I got up and walked around the room just to wake myself up. I went to the back of the room and saw the book from the first class I took. You know, I wonder? Hmmmmm. Take a wild fucking guess as to what was under that book? That's right, the book for the class that I was taking the test for. Well shit, if they didn't want me to cheat then they shouldn't have left the damn book sitting right there on the other side of the room. Of course, my only problem was that I didn't have a clue as to where I would find any of the answers. Also, what happens if I get caught cheating? I mean, its not like getting caught masterbating. I weighed the consequences of my potential actions. If I did it, would it be worth getting fired over? Hell no. Or maybe they would just fail me in the class and ban me from taking any more classes, if that is the case, it would totally be worth it. Then I thought about it, if I'm having trouble paying attention to the questions, how the hell am I going to pay attention long enough to find the answers? After all, I would feel like a total dumbass if I cheated and still flunked the test. So, I walked back to the desk and continued taking the test.  35 minutes and 2 jerk off sessions later, I was done. I pressed the button to find out what my fate was. Within seconds, I read the screen:

  "We regret to inform you that you are a dumbass because you........"

  My mind drifted off to another topic for about an hour. Shit, even the results are boring. But, I think you get the picture, I failed. I got back to my desk and everybody was asking me how I did. I responded that it didn't matter how I did, the important part was that I was finally done with this stupid fucking class. Oh, and I failed. Even though I bombed the test and it cost me $325 (the company reimburses me for the class and gives me a $100 bonus if I pass), I couldn't be any happier knowing that I was finally done and I didn't have to do anymore reading or studying. That being said, I have a newfound appreciation not only for college students, but also for those people that go to school and work at the same time. For example, there is an amazing lady I work with who works full time, has a husband and kids and is still finding time to take 3 (fucking 3!!!!) classes at the local junior college. And not only take them, but pass them with good grades.

  In continuing with the songs on my player, I put "Bulls on Parade" on there because it is my favorite Rage Against The Machine song. For those of you that don't know, Rage is a very political band and they are raging against the Republican machine. The song has one of my all time favorite lyrics in it "rally around the family, with a pocket full of shells" which, pretty much means that Republicans like to talk about family values and how family is so important and yet they continue to be pro gun and against gun control, making them hypocrites.  Like many of their songs, it is filled with rage and anger towards the establishment, which as you might expect, I love. I can't listen to the song without reacting to it and making me think of how evil Republicans can be most of the time. Of course, even if you are liberal, the song might not be your style, but I'm sure the message is. And if you are a Republican well...............all I can say is when the hell are you gonna wake the fuck up and realize how evil the Republicans are?

  • 10:59 pm
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