September 26, 2007

• I was thinking and I guess its only fair that I list what I have to offer for a best friend as well. Just take a look at what you are getting:

  1. A designated driver most of the time. Sure, I drink from time to time, but an overwhelming majority of the time, I'm the driver. For example, with Dave, I'm always more than happy to drive because I strongly feel that any time I can stop Dave from driving, I'm doing society a huge favor. Those of you that have seen him behind a wheel know what I mean. Of course, that's when he is sober, who knows how he would be driving drunk. He is whole ass backward, maybe he would actually be a better driver drunk than sober.

  2. You never have to worry about competing with me for chicks. In fact, I'm pretty much the perfect wing man. I consider myself good looking enough to at least attract some sort of attention, yet, I'm not nearly good looking enough to be a distraction for other guys. And most girls like guys that are physically strong and since I struggle to carry a case of Pepsi, you should be fine in that department. Also, I'm funny and that helps to keep the girls around. Once they find out I'm gay, they are disappointed and would look to you to help fill that disappointment. At that point, its a slam dunk, in fact, maybe you can even have a threesome with the girl that was interested in me and the one that was interested in you. Plus, since I'm the usually the DD, you don't have to feel guilty about leaving me to find my own way home while you bag Brittney and Paris in some back ally.

  3. Catch all the big games at my house in HD on my big screen tv. Ok, so this one is completely material, if I have the tv I might as well use it to my advantage.

  4. You can pretty much dominate me at every sport. And since I always try my hardest, it will seem halfway legit for you. For at least the first 5 minutes, after that you will probably get sick of me and put me out of my sporting misery.

  5. Reliability. You can pretty bank on me being on time for wherever we are going. Of course, the downfall to that is I get pissed if you aren't on time or not ready to go when I pick you up, but at least you aren't sitting there waiting and thinking "shit, did he blow me off to blow some guy?"

  Really that's all I have to offer. I know, kind of pathetic, only 5 things. But, most guys would love to have only numbers 1 & 2 and be totally happy. That's what I like about guys, easy to please.

  I bought my tickets last night for the Cubs game in Cincinnati on Saturday, pending them having a chance to clinch the division that night. Of course, they are doing everything possible to blow things enough so that they clinch on that day. A lot of Cub fans are panicked right now but I'm not to that point............yet. During tonight's loss, I found myself yelling at the tv during the game, but since Milwaukee lost, I'm feeling much better about things. Even if the Brewers had won, I would still not not totally freaking out. See, the Brewers have 4 games left against the Padres, who are a tough team competing for a playoff spot. So in theory, the Brewers will have more to overcome. Plus, the Cubs are still in the driver's seat because they have the lead. That being said, would it kill them to be the fucking Marlins? As much as I would LOVE to see the Cubs clinch the division in person, I would be much more relaxed the sooner they can get it over with. Right now the magic number is down to 3, which means any combination of Cubs wins and/or Milwaukee losses equaling 3 give the Cubs the division. I know I didn't explain it all that good, but I'm too tired to go into more detail. All I can say is, GO CUBS.

  • 11:32 pm
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