January 29, 2008

  • So today was the Florida primary. The Democrats have pretty much skipped Florida and Michigan, instead choosing to punish the states for moving up their primaries. I feel this very well might be a grave mistake. After all, nothing says "we don't give a shit about your state" quite like we won't count your delegates. Sure, this might not hurt them right now, but come November its hard to imagine the swing voters of those states voting Democrat and honestly, you can't blame them. In short, it was a stupid fucking move. The only thing dumber than pretending Florida doesn't exist is being convinced that they are the only state that counts. This is what the brilliant Rudy Ghoulianni did. He pretty much has not campaigned in any of the other states except Florida as if Florida is the only state that matters. Win Florida and you are automatically in the White House. He must still be living in the year 2000 when the whole damn election came down to Florida. Well somebody should tell Rudy that these are the primaries and you need to actually win states delegates to get the nomination. This guy was leading the Republican polling back in August and September and now he is pretty much done. He effectively killed any chance of winning with this stupid game plan. If you ask me, any candidate who plans to only win one out of 50 states is too dumb to be president. Perhaps because the voters know he has no chance in hell of winning, he finished a distant third in the Florida primary today. I'm guessing he will be dropping out of the race any time now. Of course, being as stupid as he is, he will probably try to focus on next year's presidential campaign. Then again, I guess nobody should be surprised about his stupidity. This is also the same guy who after the World Trade Center was attacked the first time, put New York City's emergency headquarters in the very same World Trade Center. Also, his whole campaign for president has been based on one issue and one issue alone, his response to September 11th. What a total dip shit.

    I read something recently about Shaq O'Neal's monthly expenses . See, he is going through a divorce and listed his monthly expense. According to court documents, he has a whopping $875,000 in monthly expenses. He earns 1.6 million monthly from the Miami in addition to another $220,000 from other business investments. Let's breakdown his expenses, shall we?

    $468,345 in mortgages. He does own 3 homes, but honestly, nearly 500k in mortgages? That's more than 3 times the size of my total mortgage. Ok, I guess I can cut him some slack on this one. His combined square footage of his 3 homes is probably more than 3 times the size of my single home so I guess.............wait  a minute, its not like he is only paying 3 times the cost of my monthly mortgage. Well fuck me silly, that's a lot of fucking money.

    $110,505 on monthly vacations. Monthly vacations? Judging by the way he has played this season it seems like its more than just a monthly vacation. And even so, are these monthly vacations trips to the center of the fucking earth? Dude, he is in fucking Miami, if he takes the kids to Disney air fare can't possibly be that much. If he wants he can skip a vacation one month and pay off my mortgage and still have over 5 grand left to spare.

    $60,417 on gifts. Who the fuck does this guy think he is, Oprah Claus?

    $46,500 on child care. What, does the babysitter give him lap dances before she leaves for the night? Ok, so I'm sure he probably has a live in nanny for his 6 kids. And because my mother ran an in home daycare, I can understand the challenges of caring for children. I will give him this one too, I think its great he pays his babysitters as well as he does, after all with 6 kids that has got to be a challenge. And since they are Shaq's kids, even his youngest kid probably out weighs the babysitter.

    $24,300 on gasoline for his cars and  boats. I think he missed the memo on global warming and weaning ourselves off of foreign oil. Maybe he can hire somebody to explain to him the effects of global warming and oil usage. Great. Another monthly expense. I'm sure that will probably run him at least $35,000.

    $23,950 on clothes, dry cleaning and laundry. Who the fuck is doing his laundry, Halliburton?

    $12,775 on food. Perhaps this is why he has gotten so damn fat and he can't play?

    $1,495 on cable tv. And that's just for basic cable! Fuckin cable companies. This shit is gettin out of hand, am I right people? (ok, so I made up the part about it being just for basic cable, you get my point).

    On top of all of this he pays $500,000 a month in income taxes. If this isn't an argument for a consumption tax than I don't know what is?