April 27, 2008

• This has the potential to be a very long post, so do yourself a favor and get out now. Ok, now that I have separated those who think they might be finding porn here with the one person that is left to read this, unplug the phone (or in this day in age, should i say turn the phone off),  grab a cup of coffee and forget about masterbating.

  Yesterday was a very long day. It started with me getting up at the unheard of for a Saturday hour of 7:15 in the am. Did you follow that or was it a little confusing. I was volunteering along with 42 other people from my company to help rebuild a house of an elderly couple. This is the 2nd year in a row we have done this. Last year I had to paint and to be honest, I was a total disaster. So this year I was put on landscaping duties. I never realized how hard it is to tell the difference between a weed and a plant/flower until yesterday. I started to pull something up and much to the laughter of many people, what I was pulling was not a weed but instead some sort of plant flower type thing. I’m sorry but if you can’t smoke it than it should be pulled up and destroyed. Outside of that little incident (which I found funny enough to include in here) I really didn’t do anything else that was too overly embarrassing. Well, there was the struggle of carrying bags of sand and mulch, but I was the one making most of the jokes about myself.

  I was home by about 12:30 and after exercising and showering, I headed over to Scooty and Kris’s for our murder mystery party. The party was not starting until 6, but I got there about 3:15 to help Scooty and Kris decorate and set up. When I arrived Kris was not home and Scooty and I left shortly after I arrived to go pick up booze. I guess I should give some background as to what the theme of our murder mystery party was. It was an Immortal Costume Ball, complete with vampires and Merlin and Kings and Queens and magic and spells and all that shit. Being a costume ball, we were given free rein to dress however we wanted. My character was an undead asshole of a being. So, I went as Cupid or a dead Cupid, kinda like the song which you can hear on this very blog. Shit, I’ve got a ton of pictures so perhaps I should post some of them here.

  

  Really, I look like hell here but its the best way I could give you the full effect of my costume. Oh, and as for the afro, I thought the costume came with a wig, but it didn’t so I used an old afro wig I’ve had for years.

  

  Here is a picture of everybody, most of us dressed up. Take notice of Mark licking Kris’s leg like a lollipop.

  

  Those of us that have seen the pics think this was the best pic of the night.

  Anywho, back to the story. We got started shortly after 7. Now keep in mind, this game takes about 3 hours to play. Kris was not actually playing but instead the host. I was like the detective person but since I co-planned the whole thing with Kris, I knew who the killer was. The 2 characters that were killed were Scooty’s and Kristine’s. Here is how we found their bodies.

  

  No, it wasn’t my ass that killed them, although it probably could have been. they were both poisoned. Although those two were the only planned murders, we had 4 other people murdered throughout the game. After being murdered, you come back as another character which Kris and I planned. We though it would be hilarious to bring Scooty back as Christie’s love slave who she liked to treat as a dog.  That is how this following picture came to be
  

  Yes, that is a pink dog collar which I picked out. Unfortunately, it was too small for him to keep on his neck. I also bought him a chew toy. As for the game itself, we all had such a good time, even those of us who were confused (I was not confused but that is only because I knew the outcome the whole time). Although the party was to celebrate Kris’s birthday (her birthday was actually April 17), yesterday was actually Todd’s birthday so we decided to make him the killer.

  After the game, we all hung out and it quickly turned into another Scootyfest. Scooty had recently bought a trampoline for the kids. Well, since there were no kids there, we adults soon found ourselves on the trampoline. I walked out back and on my way to the trampoline for whatever reason, I took off my entire costume and jumped on the trampoline wearing only my boxers and socks. Sure it was only about 40 degrees out but for some reason I wasn’t cold. Maybe it was the fact that I  was drunk. Actually I think that probably explains it all.

  A little later we started playing the infamous card game we play when we are all together. It involves a lot of drinking and exchanging of clothes. All I know is that by 1:45 I was exhausted and passing out at the table. So I went to the basement to pass out not even realizing that I didn’t have my pants or shirt on. As it turns out, my shirt partied longer than I did. It also got more action than me having been worn by just about everybody else playing the game. I woke up about 3:50ish to hear some of them (Todd, Pam, Christine, John, Keith and Heather) talking about my being gay. I don’t think it was anything bad, but it still made me cringe. So, I got up, but by the time I got up there the conversation had changed.

  All in all it was a fun and memorable night. Come to think of it, a lot of us didn’t remember much of the night. For example, I had to be reminded about how I spilled an entire glass of wine on the table and into Scooty’s  lap. Kris had to be reminded of how during the game she told me to take over her hosting duties because she was too drunk. Scooty had to be told by Kris that somehow, he passed out under the covers with his head at the foot of the bed.

  In spite of all the work and planning that Kris had to do for this party, it was all worth it in the end, as you can tell by the pictures we had a tremendous time.

  • 11:41 pm
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