June 8, 2008

  • You all remember (you all.................shit, that makes me sound like I'm from fucking down south) the guy from work I was telling you about, the one I have a slight crush on? Well Friday was his last day of work so last night a bunch of us were planning on having a little farewell party for him at a bar right next to work. It was to start at 7 in the pm, and I arrived about 7:05. Not to my surprise, but I was the first one there. Now this is a rather huge bar so I wandered around looking for him or anybody else from work. In my wanderings I rode on elevator with a waiter who had this very good looking desert which was iced cream along with a brownie of some sorts. I just had to have it and later on, I ordered it, except instead of a brownie I got a cookie. Good shit, but not as good as it looked in the elevator.

    He finally got there about 7:20ish. As it turned out, the girl who was planning the whole party actually got sick and wound up in the hospital, which meant that her boyfriend and several other people would not be making it. In fact, only one other person made from work which was kinda disappointing. I felt bad for him but we just tried to make the best of a bad situation and just hung out for a couple of hours.

    Now this guy is a very liberal guy, he does not like Republicans or hardcore Christians, even though he is Catholic. Most liberals are very friendly to gays, but Friday at work he told me something that lead me to believe otherwise. Now keep in mind he does not know that I'm gay. He insisted that being gay is a choice and that gays only say its not a choice so that people would feel sorry for them. This upset me and made what was already a bad day even worse. Normally if somebody has that sort of attitude I just write them off and don't really talk to them anymore. And yes, I'm very tempted to do that with him. On the other hand, I feel this obligation to come out to him for the sole reason that I believe I might have some sort of a responsibility to show him that he is wrong. Being a masculine gay guy who loves sports and many other "straight" things means that I have a unique opportunity to have an influence on people like him, people who are not clouded by the prejudice of conservative Christianity. Sure, I might lose a friend and I'm right back where I started but on the other hand I also might change a perception and help the gay cause. Sure, its just one person, but every person helps and makes a difference. I often have trouble making new friends because I am...............er...............very selective with my choice of friends. In other words, I don't want to have a friend who is racist or a bigot. This guy and I get along very well and could probably be good friends but only if he is able to accept me for something I can not change: being gay. Its not like we are all that close though, he doesn't live very close to me and we don't hang out all that often outside of work. I thought about telling him last night but could not muster the courage to tell him, which is a common problem with me. But maybe sometime over the course of the next few weeks I will gather up the appropriate amount of courage.

    Today we were supposed to play baseball at noon. The forecast called for a 30% chance of scattered storms, so we liked our chances of playing a game. As we were about to leave though, we heard that part of our county was under a severe thunderstorm warning. And looking outside it was cloudy with some threatening storms off in the distance but it was also very very windy meaning that it very well could blow right over us. We had 8 guys hitting the ball around for a while when it started to sprinkle a little. Then it stopped. Then a few minutes later, it started to rain. It rained for a few minutes before stopping. So, we quickly picked teams and got started. Within minutes of starting it was raining and very windy. I told everybody that I was fine playing as long as it wasn't lightening out. I dunno, something about swinging an aluminum bat next to aluminum fences that really doesn't appeal to me. Plus, like a slightly small percentage of people (I'm really not sure, but I think the percentage is somewhere in the neighborhood of 100%) I have an allergy to lightening. If struck, one of the allergic reactions I could potentially have is death. And never being a big fan of my own death, I have always feared lightening. And lo and behold, after a while it started to thunder and lightening out. In spite of having only 4 on 4 (we even had to close a field meaning that if you hit it to right field or left field if chosen, you were automatically out) and in the middle of what probably was a severe thunderstorm, we played. The field was VERY muddy and wet. My glasses were dotted with rain drops making it very difficult to see. The ball was heavy and brown which made things even worse. It was hard to throw and even harder to catch. Furthermore because the balls were water and mud logged, when you hit them they didn't go as far as they should have. Running from base to base was a chore, in fact we probably would have been better suited using skis. Its not like it rained the whole time though, in fact it was pretty much off and on for the entire 4 innings that we played. Finally though we had had enough and stopped with hopes of playing again in 2 weeks.