December 7, 2008

  • Yesterday was a Christmas party at my brother Mark's house. I'd like to go into great detail about the party but it all went by so fast once I started hitting the rum and Cokes. Ok, so it wasn't Coke but instead caffeine free diet Pepsi. Either way, the end result was still the same, me waking up with a blinding headache and a little bit of queasiness.

    I know most of the people who might read this blog on occasion are not sports fans but being a huge Cub fan I should write about the retirement of Greg Maddux. He started his career with the Cubs in 1986, left for Atlanta after the 1992 season, returned to the Cubs before the 2004 season and left again for good in a mid season trade during the 2006 season. He has long been not only one of my all time favorite Cubs, but also one of my all time favorite athletes. I've always remained consistent in saying that he was the best pitcher of his generation, even before Roger Clemens started pumping himself full of anything he could get his hands on. Hmmm............perhaps I shouldn't have written that, after all Clemens is suing everybody in a futile attempt to preserve his severely soiled reputation. All the while, Maddux remained unstained by any steroid controversy. There were no secrets about why he was so good, it was because he worked hard, was a student of the game and had talent. When that talent started to fade he didn't turn to performance enhancers to remain the best in the game, he instead aged ever so graciously into the twilight of his career. I don't remember if I ever saw him pitch in person during his first go around with the Cubs, I just remember seeing him start the Cubs home opener in 2004, his first game back with the Cubs. On that frigid April day, the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates torched him and the Cubs got their asses kicked. Still we fans gave him a standing ovation not only when his name was first announced but also when he was taken out of the game after getting lit up. After the game he offered no excuses, just that he did not pitch well. As always, a stand up class act that will be missed.

    Today would have been my eldest sibling's 52nd birthday. I know that makes me sound old, but hey, my parents were Catholic and kept pumping out kids until my mom realized that twins at 41 is nature's version of a cruel, sick joke. As you might have guessed from the first sentence of this paragraph, my brother is dead. He was killed in a car accident back in 1977. I don't write this as a way to garner sympathy, so please spare me your condolences. I write it because I believe his death forever altered my life, even though I was not yet two years old when he died. I often wonder how my life would have been different had he not died.  See after such a devastating loss, my dad could not handle it and he basically drank himself to death, dying 3 years later. That left my man like mother alone with five kids. Although I know I would have still turned out gay had my brother not died, I wonder with the influence my dad around for at least a few more years I would have been more of a feminine homo, after all I probably owe my masculinity to my mom. I wonder what my brother would have though of having a gay sibling as there is no way for me to know his views or thoughts on gays. Also being left with a he mom to deal with five kids can be financially straining. Although we did not grow up poor, we certainly could of had more money and had a totally different up bringing had my dad not died. My brother's death started a chain reaction of 7 years of tragedy in my family and although I will not go into details about some of the other events, clearly it had an effect on my childhood and my life. Honestly, there is no way to even speculate on how my life would have been different had he not died. There are any number of different things that could have happened had he not died. Now I want to stress that I'm not using his death as an excuse as to how my life turned out. After all, I firmly and whole heartedly believe that I have turned out fine, I'm a good person and a fully productive member of society, even if said society has been given a blistering beat down by 8 years of the Bush Abomination. I'm just wondering how my life and my families life would have been different.