January 6, 2009

  • So last night I posted a look back at 2008. So tonight, its a look ahead at 2009. I couldn't predict many of the things that happened in 2008, although honestly, I could see the Cubs not winning the World Series from a mile away. So what is going to happen this year? I'm always looking for predictions or goals. Here are a few predictions for 2009:

    • The Cubs will piss me off. Again. And again. Oh, and again.
    • George W Bush gets lost on his way back to Crawford, Texas and is never heard from again. And by lost I mean  he passes out drunk somewhere along the way. And by never again, I mean not until the 2012 election in which he reemerges to remind us how much smarter he is than Sarah Palin.
    • The American people finally realize how big of a fucking nerd Barack Obama is. In fact, he probably doesn't even really smoke but just says he does to try to make himself cool. Meanwhile, he is going to be hosting weekly Dungeons and Dragons games at the White House and having Star Trek marathons.
    • The Cubs piss me off again. And again.
    • Andy Dick and Amy Winehouse meet in rehab, hook up, get hook on all sorts of things again and get married, making for one hell of a funny last name: Andy Dick-Winehouse. 
    • Jay Leno goes to prime time where it is discovered not only how ugly he truly is, but also how much of an untalented hack he has always been.
    • Rod Blagojevich's hair steps down; even his hair has had enough and no longer can approve of Blago.
    • The fucking Cubs piss me off a-fucking-gain!
    • The New England Patriots are caught cheating at cheating

    So that's a little bit of what we can expect in 2009, do you have any thoughts?

    Longtime readers would remember that last year I set a goal of donating $1,000 to charity. This year's goal: get 2009 people to send me naked pictures of themselves. Yes, that's right people, even you can help me reach this goal by sending me a naked picture of yourself. Or your loved one. I mean, after all, who doesn't have a naked picture of dad passed out after plowing the neighbor's 19 year old daughter for cash. Oh, I know what you are thinking, "Mike, why should I send you a naked picture of myself for your own personal use?" Well don't be worried, its not for my own personal use. I'm going to post the pictures on the internet! In case you haven't heard, everybody is posting pictures of themselves naked in every place possible, its the in thing to do. Shit, I already know you have the pictures, so why not share them with the world? Hell, its not like you took the pictures for yourself. I mean, nobody takes naked pictures of themselves for only themselves to see. You take naked pictures of yourself for others to see, so hand them over you narcissistic, self indulgent perv. Certainly you took the pictures for people to see, even if you are fat, ugly, old, abnormally hairy or just plain freaky looking. After all, there is always some nut that has a fetish for even the most disgusting things. So, just take a few short minutes and email those pictures to mikesnakedgoal@hotmail.com so that you can start me on my goal of 2009 naked pictures.