March 17, 2009

  • It's So Easy Bein' Green!

    Back in the day green was ugly. Green really only had one day when it was in and hip and that was St. Patrick's Day. The rest of the year, green was the forgotten bitch of colors. Hell, even the Barenaked Ladies made fun of how ugly green was in "If I Had A Million Dollars". If you wanted to think of something nasty, you would think of it as green. Snots and boogers are green. Disgusting slim, green. Algae and seaweed, you got it, green. Mold is green too and there is really nothing good about mold. Well, almost nothing good. About the only thing that was good that was green was money, and even that is the dirtiest thing around, both literally and figuratively. After all, people say money is the root of all evil and as we know, money is green. Well, at least American money. Ok, well the dollar bill is green.

    Then all of a sudden, the past few years, green becomes the it color. Everybody is talking about "going green" which is code for being environmentally sound. People start wearing green more and even driving green cars. Mr Green is no longer the biggest killer in games of Clue. The green laden Boston Celtics win the NBA Finals. People can't get enough of green. OHHHHH GREEN!!!

    Well, I for one have had just about enough of fucking green. What about blue? Or red? Or black? Why does green get all of the attention these days? Why is it that anything green is automatically amazing and great? Just what exactly did green do to deserve such stature? Well I say fuck you green, you should go back to where you came from until you have earned the greatness.