May 27, 2009

• I Name Names!!!

  Although the story is a few weeks old, I haven't had a chance...............ok, so maybe I just forgot..............to post about the Manny Ramirez story. As we all know, he tested positive for steroids. Well, kinda. It was actually a female drug that is used to help somebody cycle off (in other words, transition from using steroids as to help your body become normal again) steroids. I guess technically he could be going through menopause and maybe this drug was helping him with that. But, since he is clearly a dude and since medical science confirms that dudes don't go through menopause and because he was putting up Nintendo numbers, its fairly obvious he was on 'roids. Now I don't know if I posted on this previously, but I have been saying for years that Manny Ramirez was on the juice, just like I said for years that Roger Clemens was juiced. Of course, its one thing to say it now after stories of their usage has come out, hell that makes me look like a jackass. And while I am a jackass, it is not for those reasons as I honestly did say they did steroids. There are a few other players who I have been saying are users as well and in an effort to justify my ramblings and make it look like I do know at least a little bit as to what I'm talking about, I'm going to come right out and say some of the players who I'm convinced have done it or are currently using some sort of performance enhancer. What is my proof, you ask? The numbers my friends, the numbers. The proof is in the numbers. When players are routinely doing things that have never been done before, that is a sign. When they are doing things that are unheard of its a sign. When they are missing games and getting injured sneezing or doing a stupid pointless hop in the outfield, its a sign. When they are twice the size of what they were 10 or 15 years ago or are way bigger than other Hall of Fame players, that is a sign. When they are routinely snapping and fighting and or yelling at umpires, other players, coaches, and beating the shit out of water coolers that is a sign. Now granted, maybe one of the above signs doesn't mean they are a user, when more than one of the signs are prevalent, then it is a dead giveaway.

  People (and by people, I mean my brothers) think I'm nuts for assuming that a player is guilty and I think he dopes after  he does something amazing, but I've always been a cynic. I'm a lot of things, but a fool is not one of them. You can fool me once or I can bury my head in the sand for a short time, but after the truth comes out I will be damned if I will be fooled again and my trust is nearly impossible to regain. Yeah, I'm bitch when it comes to that sort of thing.

  So without further delay, here are the baseball players I think or am damn near certain have done some sort of performance enhancer at some point in their careers:

  • Alfonso Soriano
  • Albert Pujols
  • Jim Thome
  • Curt Schilling
  • David Ortiz
  • Jonathan Papelbon
  • Carlos Zambrano (I'm not convinced yet, but after his tantrum today it makes me think he does it)
  • Miguel Cabrera

  Those are just to name a few. Now there it is in writing so that it may appear someday that I actually know what I'm talking about.

  • 11:05 pm
  • 1 Comment