February 16, 2010

• A Historic High Five

  As you might remember from my December 14th, January 4th, January 19th and February 3rd posts, I’m reading a book about American history. I’m just zipping along in this book, when we last left off I was about 400 pages into it, now I’m on page 524. The book is around 630 of readable pages and I’m reading about 8 pages a day. This means I should be done sometime in August or right about the time the Oscar telecast is over. I would probably have more time to read if I drove a Toyota and got everywhere faster because I didn’t have to stop at, well, anything, but I just as soon not die, which is a potential downside of driving a Toyota. So just what I have I learned in the past 125 pages? Well, there is this:

  • Senator Joseph McCarthy started his anticommunism smear campaign because he was bored. Oh, and he was a really really big asshole.
  • The Korean War was started because Dwight Eisenhower’s dry cleaner lost his suit. The irony of it all is that his dry cleaner was Polish.
  • For the first 45 minutes his was on the moon, Neil Armstrong was convinced he was in Kansas.
  • Richard Nixon was so paranoid, he was convinced that people didn’t like him………………oh wait, turns out nobody liked him.
  • Ronald Reagan thought the war on the t.v. show M.A.S.H was actually happening at the time it was airing. 
  • Jimmy Carter kicked a man to death for trying to sell him a subscription to T.V. Guide.

  Ohhhh, you should be so excited, you are probably only going to have to put up with one more lame post about the book I’m reading. Honestly why the hell would I think somebody would care about the progress I’m making reading a book?

  Now a post about my bladder control problems……………..well I’m sure everybody would read that!

  Just kidding. I don’t have any bladder control problems. Just a colon control problem.

  • 11:12 pm
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