March 10, 2010

• Colonial Random Johnson

  Here in Illinois, it is illegal to smoke in any public building. I think I'm going to have a doctor write me a note stating that I have to smoke indoors. Just imagine how cool I would be, what with being the only person that could smoke indoors. And I would really make it noticeable too. I would blow the smoke in everybody's face, especially the non smokers. And I would totally just stand in front of all the smokers puffing away and getting them good and pissed and jealous that I could smoke indoors and they can't. I would totally rub it in. And then I would rub the cigarette out on their desk or table they were at. And I don't even smoke. But I would start if it meant that I could piss tons of people off. I'm sure I could get any number of doctors to write me a note; hell, once a doctor writes a note for it, its no longer unhealthy.

  Oh, golly gee gosh......................I am such a fucking asshole!

  So Corey Haim died. Hmmmmm.................that makes sense, after all his career has been dead for years. Seriously, how can anybody be shocked by this? The guy had such a bad drug problem that even his drug problem had a drug problem. I guess this means that we can finally tell the difference between Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.

  Good news everybody, there is still time for you to give to my sister in law's American Cancer Society Relay For Life campaign by clicking on this link:

  Click here to visit my personal page

  If that doesn't work, than you can always copy and paste this.

  http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10IL?px=14392706&pg=personal&fr_id=22227&fl=en_US&et=NuWqebpnmGe-toEd8smJgQ..&s_tafId=431083

  By the way, the title of this post is intentionally spelled Colonial as opposed to Colonel. See recently I wore a shirt that was a gaudy burnt mustard and I call myself Colonel Mustard when I wear it. Well, a friend of mine decided to make a drawing of me wearing the shirt and wrote on there Colonial Mustard. I looked at it and laughed. The next day I looked at it again and realized that she spelled Colonial instead of Colonel. As for the Random Johnson, I've got a friend who's last name is Johnson and who is in the military. He has three daughters but always said that if he had a son, he would name him Random. So there now you know. Now go donate!

  • 11:07 pm
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