April 7, 2010

• Frank And Beans!!!

  Its story time people! Once again, I have nothing to write about, which is to say that I actually do have something to write about but its from a long time ago. See the thing about me is that odd things tend to happen to me. Sometimes these things find me. And sometimes I  help to create them. Either way, it makes for some funny ass shit. So tonight I'm going to go back to around 1998 or so, give or take a couple of years.

  Back in the day, my friends and I used to always go camping and white water rafting every year at a place in Wisconsin called Shotgun Eddy's. It started originally as us making the 5-6 hour drive for the weekend. Then it was from Thursday to Sunday. And after a while we were going from Tuesday until Sunday. The rafting was only one day, the rest of the time was spent hanging out and camping. We would play horseshoes or maybe go for a swim in the river or just hanging out and having a good time. It was camping though in the truest sense, complete with tents and sleeping bags and building a fire at night. Oh, and there was no running water; there was an outhouse where we could make onesies and twosies, but if we wanted to shower we had to drive 5-10 minutes up the road. We would usually go with about a group of 10-12 people, give or take a few.  By the way if you are ever in the Wisconsin area, I highly recommend them, you can check out more on their website http://shotguneddy.com/ it is well worth the trip. Ok, so now I've set the background.

  After spending 4 or 5 days in the woods, we all drove back to a central meeting place where everybody got their crap out of each others cars and whatnot. One of my friends and I gave a ride home to another guy by the name of Gordon, who was actually friends with my brother. He was a nice guy, fun but maybe a little odd at times. He was probably in his mid to late 30s at the time. We dropped him off at either his house or his relatives house, I really don't know. It was a warm August day, but not really oppressively hot. We get out of the car and unload his stuff from the trunk. All of a sudden, his 7 or 8 year old nephew darts out of the house and runs up to him to hug him as he certainly seemed very excited to see him. Ok, so nothing odd about that. At least it wasn't odd until you find out that the boy was naked! And I don't mean like shirtless with just his underwear on. I mean butt ass, bare as the day he was born naked. And it wasn't like he lived in the country, this was the suburbs, people, complete with cars driving by and neighborhood houses. It wasn't dark out either, it was probably about 6 or 6:30pm, still very much light out. And coming out of the house right after him was an older lady who must have been the boy's grandmother. All she said in a nice, soothing tone was, "Oh, he is just so happy to see Gordon." My friend awkwardly said "Yeah, it looks like he is" and with that we shot an odd look at each other and got in the car and drove the fuck off, laughing by the time we got to the end of the block. We think that the boy might have been autistic or something along those lines, which makes me feel kinda bad for laughing at the situation, but on the other hand, shit, its still a really funny situation, especially with the lady's great unintentional one liner.

  • 11:30 pm
  • 2 Comments