April 26, 2010

  • Eart Day!

    Normally, every year I do an Earth Day post, but this year I'm a little late with it. But, better late then never. So everybody keeps saying we need to do various things to take care of the earth, being that it is you know, our only option when it comes to living. Oh sure, I guess the moon and Mars are options but that is only if we want to survive for a short period of time, like a day or so. Basically though we are stuck with the earth, for better or worse. And lately, its been fucking worse.

    For centuries humans have been treating the earth like shit and taking advantage of it. And over the course of the past century or two, we have really been treating the earth worse than a 50 cent whore. And like any self respecting whore, eventually enough is enough. So now, the earth has finally decided to get even. Have you noticed that there seems to be an earthquake on a damn near daily basis. Ok, so maybe there have always been earthquakes somewhere in the world every day, but if that was the case then they went unreported. And then there was that crazy volcano in Iceland, Volcano Tom (let's face it, the actual name is even too long to copy and paste) that erupted spewing ash over much of western Europe. I think its fairly obvious that this is the earths way of saying "fuck you motherfuckers, I'm REALLY mega fucking pissed and I ain't not gonna done did take it anyfuckingmore!" And this is essentially the earth getting revenge on us for beating it half to death like the blue headed step child it is.

    Ok, so of course I'm totally kidding about the earth getting even, hell that makes me sound like one of those whack job Jesus freaks that blames gays and feminists for hurricanes or terror attacks. It still does not change the fact that we need to take better care of the earth since it is indeed our only current option.................although I hear Obama is building a hot suit that will let us live on the sun!

    So I decided that I can do my part by making my humidifier leak to the point where I've got puddles in my utility room and a soaked carpet near the utility room. We just noticed the leak today and had to rig some sort of contraption to drain the water into the sink. Ok earth, I fucking get it ok, we need to conserve water.

    Apparently though I didn't get the message in time. Because now in the very room I'm sitting in, I just discovered that my roof is leaking! I don't know how the fuck it is leaking, I just had the damn thing replaced not even two years ago. But yet here we are, the earth saying "pay the fuck attention to me!" Shit at this fucking rate I'm afraid to go to bed...................I might wake up floating!

    Still though people, take the fuck care of the earth..............I can't swim and if we don't take care of the earth I will be having to swim to work by the end of the week!