May 28, 2010
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Sinker
Well this is it. I've made a potentially live altering decision. I've decided it time I learned how to swim. Life altering because should I find myself alone and underwater than I have at least a 30% chance of survival as opposed to now when I have a 0% chance. Part of the problem though is that I'm so good at sinking, I don't know how I'm ever going to get to know how to swim. I was looking online for lessons and it appears that there are not many lessons in my area, especially for people who, you know, aren't kids. But, I'm hopeful that I can find someone to teach me.
Maybe I'll see what Michael Phelps is up to these days. Wait, bad idea. It needs to be somebody who isn't so hot because I would imagine it would be hard to swim with an erection..............and also hard to hide one when wearing swim shorts. I'm thinking I will have to have somebody ugly teach me, but that's tough, because most lifeguards and swim teachers are hot because, hey, they swim a lot and swimming keeps you in shape.
By the way, does anybody else find it odd that when somebody knows how to swim they call said person a swimmer but if they can't swim there is no name for them? Shouldn't they be called something, like a sinker?
Now I want to be clear, I don't have a fear of water in the least. Back in the day, I used to go white water rafting every year. And I love water parks and water slides. For whatever reason though, I never learned how to swim. So better late than never. Once I learn, I will be able to drive off bridges and into the water because I will know how to swim!
Comments (5)
Swimming is like, the best exercise, ever. I've been swimming my entire life. My parents taught us early since we lived right on a river. And I used to be a lifeguard! I swim at least an hour every day now. Best part of my day. But yeah, hard to hide an erection. Especially in the style of trunks I wear.
Lol, so true! Don't worry though, once you relax and realize the human body is naturally buoyant it's easy. And as for the issue with hot swim instructors... Well... The cold water helps.
Do you know why you sink? Because you have no body fat
Haven't you seen how easy fat people float? Don't worry, you'll still be able to learn how to swim but it will be easier if you put on a few pounds. I'm glad you're taking this step...you won't regret it. Once you feel comfortable in the water, you'll love it.
Swim? Hide your erection from Michael Phelps? Pfft. You wouldn't leave the locker room
I don't understand how people DON'T know how to swim. Lol. You just move your legs and arms! But, I can't say much...my mom put me in swim lessons when I was 3.
And yea, I couldn't swim around Phelps either....I wouldn't be able to stop looking at his hott bod. 