June 14, 2010

  • The First Date?

    I've been chatting with this cool guy online for a long time...................a whole week! That's right, seven days. So yesterday it was determined that we would meet. Yadda, yadda, yadda, I was really tired this morning.

    Okay, I guess it would be cruel to just leave it at that. We met up at Ikea, he in his jeans and button down shirt and me wearing nothing. I figured, why mess with clothes, after all they would only be coming off in the end anyway, so I might as well save time and not wear any. Turns out that its illegal to appear naked in public. So after a visit from the public defender (again!) and a posting of $10,000 bail, we were free to continue our meeting. Have you ever been to Ikea? Me neither, turns out its really really big. And confusing. With tons of furniture nobody wants to buy. So after he looked at some furniture there, we decided to grab a bite to eat.

    We headed into downtown Naperville.We parked in a parking garage and started to walk around to find something to eat. We happened upon a little kid selling candy for his camp. I was hungry and I love chocolate, so I pushed him down and stole his candy. My friend might have stole his money too, I dunno, I was too damn busy running my ass off as I didn't want to get arrested twice in one day.

    For dinner we settled on the Mongolian Grill. And I do mean settled, after hearing good things about it, I was really disappointed. Turns out they don't let you have sex anywhere in the entire restaurant which included the massive grill in the middle of the place. Well shit if they didn't want you to have sex, then why would they make it so damn hot?

    After dinner we started to walk around in the damn air and slight drizzle of this late spring evening. We walked along the river walk and through the woods. We passed a huge bell tower which had music being played by the bells. Let me tell you somethin', you ain't lived until you heard Gin & Juice played by bells from a bell tower.

    So that was pretty much it. The end.

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