September 15, 2010
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No Regrets
Dori: do you know in 1 Cor 6:9 that it states who will not inherit the kingdom of God – will not go to Heaven?
Mike: i did not
Mike: altough im sure i know the answer to this, but have you heard from cara?
Dori: fornicators, idolators, adulterers, homosexuals, sodomites, thieves, covetous, drunkards, revilers, extortioners Not for a couple weeks, we txt once in awhile
Mike: i saw her brother last weekend, he said she is doing good
Dori: cool
Mike: yeah
Mike: so you think im going to hell because im gay?
Dori: according to the Bible, yes. But I know I love u & u know I would never judge u or any other person for their choices, but I just wanted to make sure u knew & maybe God planned our friendship to save u. Please don’t be mad at me for bringing this up, I just wanted to make u aware of this and I want u to go to Heaven.
Mike:, im not mad. i knew this is probably what you thought
Mike: however, its not a choice. i know most christians dont believe that, but it is not. believe me
Dori: whew, I was so nervous to ever bring it up
Mike: also…………im an atheist so i dont believe in hell or heavan………..haha. i was nervous too
Dori: I know a guy that was gay, then he seriously changed because of this and now is saving alot of others because of his experience
Mike: that might be, but honestly, one can not change their sexuality. he might pretend to be straight but deep down he is gay.
Mike: its just who you are attracted to. honestly, its what ive always felt.
Mike: i believe people can not change who or what they are attracted to. some people are gay, some are straight. some girls are attracted to older guys, some are attracted to big muscle guys, its just what we are
Mike: i know its hard to understand
Dori: no, it’s not hard to understand, cuz my choices have changed over the years
Mike: i know most people have a hard time understanding it because it is different, but i always compare it to what people are attracted to. plus, if gay people can choose to be gay than that means straight people choose to be straight
Mike: which would mean that choosing to be straight would be the most important decision that one can make…………..meaning that everybody would how and when they made that decision
Mike: id hate to cut you short, but ive got to get to bed…………im working overtime tomorrow (need to pay for repairs on the house)
Mike: it was nice chatting with you…………i hope dj feels better. give your brother my congrats!This was copied from my March 16, 2008 post. I would encourage you to go back and read my original post, but the summary is that she was a girl I was friends with for many years. About 7 or 8 years ago, she went all God nuts and a couple of years ago we had this conversation via Yahoo Messenger. I write this post now because today is her 35th birthday and I couldn’t help but think of her. I also figured I would update the story even though nobody that reads me now read me back then. But, the above chat was the last conversation I had with her. She did leave me a message on my voicemail a couple of months later when her dad was sick. And she has sent me a couple of texts wishing me a Happy whatever holiday it was at the time, but that has been it.
For obvious reasons, we can not remain friends. I was hurt by this whole situation, actually I was crushed for a while. Even now it still hurts. But, I don’t regret it. I can not be friends with somebody like that. She has tried contacting one of my other friends who she was friends with as well, but that friend did not contact her back because she said that she doesn’t want to be friends with somebody like that either, especially since I’m gay. In short, she supported me over her. My friend has no idea how much this means to me.
For the past two and a half years, every now and then I wonder how my former friend is doing. I’ve always been the type of person who believes once a friend always a friend, so I still wonder about her, but my sexuality trumps her radical Christian beliefs in my life so because of that, I have no desire to contact her or befriend her again. To date she remains the only friend I have ever lost to gay bigotry.
There was a time in my life when if this had happened, I would have cursed myself and hated myself for being gay. I would have prayed and hoped that I could change and not be gay. But, that was a long time ago. Now, I don’t hate myself for being gay. I hate religion for brainwashing people into hating gays.
Comments (4)
I would just like to say that you were VERY respectful in your response to her. I hate when bible thumpers talk about “hating the act, not the person.” Bullshit. She let her religious beliefs about gays dictate your friendship. I am glad you don’t associate with her anymore…the last thing anyone needs is to be told they’re going to hell. I remember the Pastor i dated, his roomate told me i was going to hell. I was crushed at the time, but now i can just laugh at his close-mindedness. I was reading somewhere that gay people are this generation black people. That one day when gays have equal rights, our children who are all grown up will look back on these decades and wonder what we were thinking! I hope that day comes sooner rather than later, but religious beliefs about gays seem so deep seeded.
Here’s what i have always wondered…..if being gay is a CHOICE, why would anyone choose to be gay? I mean, why would they want to get discriminated against or hated against. I have heard time and time again that people who are gay wished they were straight. Does that sound like someone who has a choice in the matter? I think not. And the Bible can be interpreted in multiple ways. Whose to say people are misinterpreting the Bible when it talks about gays. And why in the hell would anyone live their life following a book written so long ago?!?! JESUS CHRIST!
My biggest argument to those who say its a choice is to ask them about the day they decided to be straight, after all if it is a choice than that would probably be the single most important decision anybody could ever make. I also say that sexuality is all about who you are attracted to; some straight guys are attracted to Asians and they don’t know why, well its the same thing with being gay. But of course, I’m preaching to the choir here; you know already know and understand all of this.
I agree with you, gay rights is the biggest civil rights fight of our time. And you are right, someday people will look back on this and wonder what the big fucking stink was about gays having to fight for rights. Just think, there was a time not all that long ago (1920) in which females did not even have the right to vote. Seems kinda crazy now.
I use the “did you choose to be straight” argument when I talk to religious freaks. I’ve had some of them say yes! I was hanging ou with my friend Conor, who is gay and then the next morning, talked to my neighbor. He said the other neighbor is gay and made this face. I don’t ever know what to do in these situations because I’m not friends with my neighbor and I was getting in my car to go to work. Then, I heard comments at work about gay people. Maybe living in Oklahoma has made me immune to the bashing and hanging
out with Conor made it StanD out more?
The beginning of that yahoo convo you had made me laugh. So fucking random but they think they are so sly and if they can open your eyes to the fact you are going to hell (in their twisted mind) then POOF! You want to fuck pussy instead! Utterly ridiculous and I’m glad you don’t talk to that cunt. I can’t be friends with people like that either because while I’m not gay, I do quite a few things those relgious wackjobs disagree with. And just to be clear, can’t straight people engage in sodomy? (ok just re-read her list, it specifically has homosexuals on it, so nevermind)!
I hope equal rights come during my lifetime. I thought it was getting close, then fucking prop 8 seemed to shut down the movement across the country. Do you read Dan Savage’s column? Love him and he occassionally addresses the wackjobs and is funny and gets his point across so well. He is a sex advice columnist.
The Oprah show from yesterday was a good one. She was doing an update show from her show back in 1987 about this guy who went swimming who was gay and had AIDS. The people in Oprah’s audience went nuts. The guy was there just getting bashed by people in this small town. Oprah had some of the more vocal people come back today and give their opinions. In looking at people’s views on gays and AIDS in 1987, we have come a long way….but we have not come far enough. There’s still a LONG way to go. It made me sad to watch this guy sit there listening to people say they were repulsed by him and that gay people should be quarantined, and that AIDS was God’s way of getting rid of gays. I cried during the parts of the 1987 show they replayed back….i can’t believe that even though we are all human and more the same than we think, that people can hate so much. They are letting fear dictate their lives. Awful.