January 24, 2011
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Multitaskin’
Are you like me, are you a multitasker? Do you try to do more than one thing at once as often as you can? You must, we are the society and generation of not enough time and multitasking. Well a couple of weeks ago I manged to outdo myself. I did something that only I could do. Allow me to explain.
See, I’ve been working tons of hours at work the past few months. I’ve been getting up at 5 in the fucking am and working about 12 hours. Well, one of the things I try to do to save time, even though when I think about it, it probably does not save all that much time, is I brush my teeth as I take a piss. I know, disgusting right? Well when I’m done with the brushing I always use mouthwash. So, a couple of weeks ago, there I was taking a piss at 5:15 in the morning when I go to make the transition to the mouthwash. Well, lo and behold, I get the damn bottle open and my clumsy fucking ass drops it! Sound bad enough? Well, I managed to catch it on its way down. Some of the mouthwash splashed out of the bottle and some how, landed in my fucking right eye! Meanwhile, the cap to the mouthwash was on a wild journey. Just guess what happened to it? That’s right, it passed through the stream of piss and landed in the toilet! Picture the scene, me with mouthwash in my mouth (oh, I didn’t stop to not have the mouthwash, after all, I was multitasking), mouthwash in my eye, bottle of mouthwash in one hand and my junk in the other all while peeing. I tried to hurry up because the mouthwash burned like hell in my eye, especially with my contacts in. So I quickly finished peeing, spit out the mouthwash, grabbed the cap and put it back on the bottle.
Just kidding, I threw that damn cap right the fuck into the trash, how disgusting do you think I am?
Over the year my family has had a lot of run ins with the toilet. I remember one time about 15 years ago my brother was clipping his toe nails while taking a crap and dropped the clippers into the toilet. See, now that is disgusting. And another time, my other brother dropped his electric razor in the toilet. One time when I was a kid, I dropped a bar of soap in the toilet as I was flushing.
But, it’s all in the name of multitasking so it’s all good!
Comments (4)
And my burning question of the day is….when you’re finished with the mouthwash, do you spit it into the toilet? Go Packers!
Sometimes I spit it into the toilet, sometimes the sink, as long as I don’t spit it back into the bottle, right?
I was not surprised that the Packers won, honestly, I thought they would win. Now I’m torn, on one hand I hate the Packers, but I hate Ben Rothlisberger just as much.
Ben Rothlisberger is a douche….he’s also shady as hell. You should root for the team that beat the Bears because you always want to lose to the team that wins the Super Bowl, right? I actually thought the Bears did exceptionally well considering they were playing their 3rd string quarterback!!!
Brushing my teeth WHILE taking a shower…..
Or….
Going to the bathroom, having my daughter come in and handing me a book. Yeah, that happened.