June 21, 2011

• And Now........The Finale To Going East To Go West

  As I evidenced in my previous three posts, I was in Key West last week. Before I move onto the Friday portion of the trip, there was one VERY BIG thing I forgot about from Thursday night. My friend and I went to the naked bar for a little bit. I should clarify; there was this building that had three bars in one. The first floor was the Bull and they featured people playing music. The second floor was the Whistle and they were your typical bar with pool tables. The third floor which was located on the roof was called the Garden of Eden and it was a naked night club. Well, I should clarify some more. It was a clothing optional nightclub. While most people wore clothes, there were several that decided to forgo clothes altogether. I went to this bar repeatedly throughout the week mainly because, hey, I'm a voyeur and like to see hot guys naked. So Thursday night we go up there and there were a couple of topless girls and some guys shirtless. There was one guy probably in his late 40s who was totally naked. He was half man,  half elephant. I say that because his entire body was human except that he had an elephant's trunk for a fucking cock. Even my friend said it was the biggest cock she ever saw. It was not only long but it was really fucking thick and rested right above a massive sack of balls. And he stood there, confident as hell while everybody else, including other guys quickly stole glances as their jaws dropped with amazement.

  The naked bar was cool though but probably had too many people who you would rather not see naked wearing nothing. At one point I walked up there and saw this lady who was probably about 60 laying on a lawn chair completely naked. She was kinda chunky and had sagging tits but, get this, a "smooth landing" if you know what I mean.

  So now onto Friday. The plan was to relax around the pool for most of the day. I grabbed some breakfast at the continental breakfast that the hotel offered. While there I ran into two girls who just graduated college. They were there with a gay friend and I made the comment they they were kinda like a younger version of us: two girls sharing a vacation and hotel room with a gay guy. I saw the girls later on at the pool (which was clothing optional, by the way) and talked to them for a few minutes more.

  After spending a few hours at the pool, we went back to Duval street and grabbed some dinner at the famous Sloppy Joes bar and restaurant. Yes, I did get a sloppy Joe sandwich. The food was pretty damn good. They also had a duo playing funny songs, most of which were country and some of which were parodies of real songs. They were pretty damn entertaining and I could have spent the whole night there but we had other things to do, as it was our last night in Key West.

  For the second night in a row, we watched the sunset on the roof of the Crowne Plazza, which is the highest point in Key West. This time though they had a guy up there playing acoustic music while the slowly worked it's way down. In Key West, the sunset is a pretty big deal and it is easy to see why; it was really a thing of  beauty. After the sunset we went to a drag show at a different bar. This one really sucked though; in fact it was so bad that we even left early.

  After that, the girls went back to the hotel leaving me once again, to bar hop alone. I didn't mind though. One of the first places I went was a packed Irish bar that featured a guy playing acoustic music. He was great though and the crowd was really into it. I found myself right near the front of the stage singing along to many of the songs he was playing. Either I must have looked really good or this chick must have been hammered (or both, I know for a fact she was very drunk and I'd like to think I looked hot that night) because this really hot chick started dancing with me. She was even rubbing my chest a little. I danced with her to "The Joker" by the Steve Miller Band. Later on in the night I went back to that bar and saw her again and she was still drunk but looked kind of ragged; she was missing an earring, her hair was messed up and her shirt was out of place. I'll assume she got laid. Could have been me..............if I was straight.

  I eventually found myself back at another gay bar late a night. I saw the adorably cute bartender from Aqua at this bar. While I was talking to another gay couple (who were from IL by the way) I gave him a wave. A few minutes later, I waved him over to me and he came over and we talked for a while. He is so hyper and adorable and happy and I have the most pathetic, biggest crush on him. I wish I had more time to get to know him or even a chance to hear from him again. Not that it matters. After all, he is 1,225 miles away, not exactly walking distance. When we left Key West the next day, I was kinda sad that I would never see him again.

  I got back to the hotel about 3:30 or so. We had a late check out the next morning so I was able to go for a walk in the morning before we left. Our flight did not leave Fort Lauderdale until 8 in the PM so it gave us plenty of time to make that pretty and scenic drive across the Keys. On the flight home we saw something that was really cool: a lightening storm from above the clouds. It was amazing to follow it along the length of the storm from the height we were at. And it was kinda scary too. Still, it was really unique and something I won't soon forget.

  Overall it was a great trip. I can't wait to go back to Key West some day. After all, I hope to see that adorable bartender again.

  • 11:16 pm
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