June 27, 2011
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He Said Yes
A couple of months ago my best friend got engaged. Since then,he and his fiance have spent a lot of time planning the wedding and all that jazz. They decided on May 4 of next year in Jamaica. Well Thursday night he asked me to be his co best man along with another very good friend of ours. Now I’m not taking anything for granted, but I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t expecting it, after all, we have been friends for damn near 20 years and he has told me previously that I’m the best friend he has ever had. So, naturally, I wasn’t shocked. But, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t excited to be asked. And the fact that our other friend is going to be a co best man makes it even better. See, the three of us are three peas in a pod; I like to say that we are Crosby, Stills, and Nash and when another friend of us joins us we are like Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. Okay, so that is probably a reference that nobody who reads this will get. I just think it is so damn fucking cool that the two of us get to be such a big part of a momentous event in his life. In a way, the three of us have one of those legendary friendships in which everybody mentions the three of us almost like we are one. Still, it is pretty damn special not only to share it with our one friend, but the mere fact that he asked me is special in it’s own way.
As one might imagine, a friendship can go through a lot over the course of several decades and ours is no different. He was there when my mom was dying for cancer. When we had to fly my sister and her two kids out from Denver so that they could see her one last time, he paid with no questions asked. When she was sick he even sat with her for a day and bought her dinner because we were all gone. While she was dying, he was at the hospital with us as often as we were, in spite of the fact that he had to study for law school finals. The night my mom died he spent the night at our house and stood up with me until I fell asleep. The next morning he made the family breakfast. He made the toughest time of our lives easier and better just by being there. We are forever in debt to him.
I can go on with other stories of things he has done for me but none more then the unwavering support he gave me when he became the first person I came out to. I’ve never been totally comfortable with my homosexuality but when I was 19 I had to tell somebody. We had become pretty good friends so I told him. Not only did he reassure me that everything would be the same, he never told a single person my secret for 10 years. As if that wasn’t enough, he pretty much lied to every person in his life when they asked him if I was gay. Even his family. One could not have a more loyal and better friend. I’ve always said he is the best person I know.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize just how damn special our friendship is. He has asked a gay man to stand up in his wedding. Honestly, how often does that actually happen? Straight guys and gay guys might be friends, they might even be close friends, but to be best friends as close as this, well, that is just far and few between. If more gay guys and straight guys had the type of friendship that we have, well, there would be a hell of a lot less gay bigotry in the world.
Comments (4)
I was best man in my friend’s wedding last October. We aren’t even that close of friends, but we were roommates for a while, and I did introduce him to his wife.
He’s never had any issues with me or Fritz, my life, anything. That meant a lot that he would ask me, so I can imagine it means even more to have a pretty much life-long friend ask.
I’m an emotionless robot who is dead inside, but the whole situation damn near brought me to tears.
This also means I get to plan a bachelor party! Ohhh, we are going to throw the most kick ass bachelor party.
This post makes me so happy…..congrats! That’s a huge honor and having a good friend like that is priceless. I’ve never been the maid of honor before….but most of my friends are already married at this point. My only chance is my sister
That is fairly rare, I think, for a friendship like this. I live in Redneckville, and the few gays that I know of who are “out” hang out with girls…. the straight boys would never imagine to be associated. It’s retarded, but it is what it is. However, sexual orientation aside, having such a loyal to the bone, lifelong friend as yours is rare all on its own! Congrats on being the co-best man!