August 17, 2011

• Sleepless?

  As I laid in bed last night struggling as always to fall asleep, I started thinking about a world in which sleep was not needed. Just think about this, we spend a good portion of our lives sleeping; ideally a third of our day. People always complain about not having enough time in their lives, well shit, imagine the amount of time we would have if we didn't sleep. Shit, even people who are sleep deprived sleep probably at least 4-5 hours a day which is still a good chunk of your day. But a world without sleep brings up a slew of questions, such as:

  1. Without sleep, we would not have a need for beds so where would we fuck? See right now people spend upwards of a grand or more on beds because sleep is important and we spend, again, a third of our day on the bed. But, without sleep would we really invest that much in something that is only going to last 20 minutes or if you are me, 58 seconds to jerk off. So, where would we comfortably, privately fuck? I don't know about you, but bathtub sex is great and all, but I would get uncomfortable and old if it was THE ONLY PLACE YOU FUCKED. And fucking on the floor............too much rug burn.
  2. Without a huge bed taking up your bedroom, what would you put there? And better yet, with no bed, it would not be called the bedroom. It would instead be the clothes room. Or the fuck room. Or maybe with all the extra space you would become a hoarder. And where would we hide our porn magazines if there was no bed to hide them under or a mattress to stuff them under. Nevertheless, extra space is something everybody wants, just like extra time, which brings me to.......
  3. What the hell would retired people do? Old people reliably fall asleep in front of the t.v., what about three hours a day? So in addition to their regular sleep, they have that extra time as well. So if they are retired, they would have twenty four fucking hours to kill. Think about this. That means they can call and annoy the shit out of their kids that much more. And old people make difficult customers, well guess the fuck what, this means they would spend even more time harassing the unfortunate SOBs who work in customer service.
  4. How different would the world be if the entire world never stopped? Oh sure, right now, the world constantly has some people doing something, but imagine if the worlds seven billion people never stopped consuming various things and shit. Geez, I wonder if our little planet could handle that. We might have to start deporting some of the people to other planets, like Druidia.
  5. Would people actually stop bitching about how they have no time? Who the fuck am I kidding of course they wouldn't.

  See, those are just five questions, honestly, I could go on and on if I didn't have to get to bed. You know, somebody should do a movie about a world that doesn't need sleep. Now feel free to make one and give me all the damn credit since I'm the one who came up with the idea! Unless the movie is a total fucking bomb; in that case it was all your idea.

  • 9:55 pm
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