October 2, 2011

• Blue Balls

  So I realized last week that I had not posted much info on my new car besides, of course, what kind of car it is. Now that I have had a chance to drive it for 10 days or so, I think I’ve had enough of a chance to drive it and get used to it and what not. In case your forgot, it is a 2012 Ford Fiesta, which means that I have given up what was left of my masculinity to drive this car. Of course, previously I owned a Chevy Cavalier, so there wasn’t much masculinity in that either. But, I digress. Now, more about the car.

  Everybody always asks what color it is and for the record, it is blue. But, as we know, colors aren’t always that simple. Depending on who you ask, it might not be a very manly blue. I say it’s a Cubbie blue, but honestly, it is not that dark. Somebody else said it is more of a fem blue, but my brother’s sister in law said it is more of a Miller Lite blue.

  Now my Cavalier was a basic two door model with no bells or whistles or anything special. My new car is a four door and fully loaded; power locks, power windows; I can unlock the doors and open the trunk with a push of a button. I can also play my IPOD and I have cruise control. Because all of this was such a far upgrade from my previous car, for the first week it felt like I was driving a rental car. I’m used to it now though; it feels like mine. Also, the car has Ford Sync, which means that I can press a button, tell it to play a song or call somebody and it does what it’s told. Finally, somebody who will listen to me! It is a pretty cool feature though; it will even say curse words, for example, I told it to play System of a Down’s “Fuck The System” and it repeated what I said and played it. Holy shit, is there anything cooler than a car that swears?

  Today was the first day I put gas in the car. Normally I fill up when it gets to the halfway point but wanted to let it go further to see how it did on the mileage as there is a display that lists the miles per gallon, which so far has said I’m getting no less then 37 miles a gallon, however I have doubts about it’s accuracy. Still, I’m getting way better mileage then I was getting with the Cavalier.

  As for the ride, well, it is a tiny car so it is not like it rides much different or has great horsepower. In fact, I think it might even be worse then the Cavalier, however I really don’t give a shit about that sort of thing so I can’t tell the difference between the two. I mean, it’s not like I went from a Mustang to a Fiesta. Going from a bare bones Cavalier it feels like I’m practically driving a damn luxury car! Still, I like it. I wonder how much I will like it in five years when it has some age to it.

  Of course, every car needs a good name. When I was setting up the sync with Ford, I gave it the stupid name Blue Party because I didn’t want to offend the dealer with the name I really wanted to give it: Blue Balls. Oh sure, the car has absolutely no balls whatsoever, but any chance I can get to make a sexual reference I’m going to do it, probably because I’m just that immature. So I guess it’s official name is Blue Party, but it’s nickname and the name I’m going to call it is Blue Balls.

  • 6:57 pm
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