November 2, 2011

  • The Name Change

    Hey should I change my name to Hitler? See I was thinking of this today. Adolf Hitler totally ruined the Hitler family name. Well at least I'm assuming he did; I mean I find it hard to believe that there were other members of the Hitler family who were worse than him, shit even his ancient ancestors probably couldn't hold a candle to him as far as evilness goes. If they were, they certainly didn't get the press like he got. When it comes to evil, it is quite possible that he was the most evil person that ever lived, quite possibly even more evil than Regis. Although some might classify me as evil, it would be hard to convince people that I was even more evil than Hitler, therefore I could only improve on the Hitler family name. It might even be a win win situation.

    Just think though if I did change my name to Hitler. Could you imagine the looks on people's faces when they see my name? Or how about the uncomfortableness in their voice when they read my name. Shit, just picture the reaction to everybody in the restaurant when they hear "Hitler, table of four" announced over the intercom. Why, I bet people would even move their table when they saw Hitler coming to sit near them. And boom, I've got an entire section to myself, no annoying assholes yapping on their cell phones or kids crying about having to eat. See, already there are benefits. Or how about when I meet somebody and get introduced to their parents; "Mom, Dad, this is Hitler." Nothing says awkward more than bringing Hitler home to Thanksgiving dinner.

    The attention I would garner would be crazy; although I can't imagine all of it would be good. Certainly there has to be quite a few people out there who would have a whole bias against the Hitler name. But, would they be stupid or crazy enough to say or do something about it? I mean, I can't imagine somebody would beat the shit out of me because my name was Hitler, if anything they might be a little bit intimidated by the whole thing. I mean my name would be Hitler for shit's sake, that will certainly make anybody do a double take or think twice before doing something against me.

    Ahhhh fuck it. Changing my name to Hitler seems like an awful lot of work.

    I'll just get a sex change instead.

Comments (4)

  • I was thinking that about the swastika. such a beautiful symbol but now it's just Nazi

  • Yeah, maybe I can change the meaning of the name Hitler. Or maybe I should come up with my own logo that can represent the Hitler name.

  • This made me laugh!! Interesting post!

  • (3 posts I've missed by trying to monitor the universal shit... blah)

    I think changing your name to Adolph would garner ALMOST the same results. I cant imagine hearing "Hitler party of four." but there have to be Hitler's left in the world, right??? Surely he wasn't the lone one. But... they are probably in Germany and it's like "smith" or something over there. Ya think?

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment