February 13, 2012
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Belly Flop!
A few months back I wrote about how I was going to try to learn how to swim. I took six lessons each of which were 45 minutes long. By the end of the lessons, I still did not know how to swim very well but could float. So I decided to take more lessons which started the first Thursday of the year and lasted until this past Thursday. The lessons were in a different location and lasted an hour instead of 45 minutes. I swear to you, the one hour I was in the water was the longest fucking hour of my week. In fact, each Thursday I would absolutely dread it.
It was not so much that I was afraid of water or that I do not like the water. It was just that, for a variety of different reasons, being in the water that long was a miserable existence for me. For starters, the water was cold. Okay so 80-83 degrees doesn’t sound that cold but keep in mind that our bodies are 98 degrees so that is still much much colder than the human body. And being that I’m a small guy, I was told that I get colder quicker.
I always thought that I drank enough water but it turns out, I probably don’t because after being in the water for a half hour or so, I would start to cramp up and get dizzy which are signs of dehydration due to lack of proper water intake. Just imagine trying to swim for a half hour with cramps in your feet and legs and occasionally getting dizzy.
Then there was the breathing or lack thereof. Did you know that approximately zero humans can breath underwater? Yep it’s true. That total includes me, which meant that I needed to try to learn to breath while my head was out of the water and exhale while it was underwater. This left me choking a great deal which probably did not help the dizziness in the least. Plus, it probably contributed to me getting tired faster.
And let’s not forget about the swimming itself. I was having the hardest damn time swimming on my back or side. Even at the end of the six weeks, I still did not feel like I was all that much closer towards learning to swim sufficiently to be able to go into water that is over my head. In fact if anything, I feel like I might even start to have a little bit of a fear of the water knowing how much it can affect me in such a short period of time.
So now I don’t think I’m ever going to fully learn. Although I’m going to Jamaica in May, I’m not exactly in a rush to get back out there and take another lesson. Ugh, I wish I could just have gills installed and be done with it.
Comments (4)
You only need to lay on the beach with a Mai Tai!! Leave the swimming for the fishes! BTW – need anyone to carry your bags for you? I could use a vacation
haha………….yeah but I love water parks and water slides and things like that would love to be able to do those without, you know, dying. Thanks you can carry my bags, but you are going to have to stay at the airport on the account that I’m a cheap motherfucker!
I’m so proud of you for sticking with those lessons. It is hard to stick with something that truly is difficult and you deserve major props. I do hope you continue practicing, even if it isn’t at actual lessons. A friend’s pool or the Y or something. Swimming in the ocean is a whole other animal though, so I definitely don’t recommend it if you aren’t super confident in your skills. I almost drowned in Mexico because the waves kept crashing and the undertow was strong. I ended up practically crawling out of the ocean. Probably didn’t help that I was drinking, but whatever.
I think it is so much easier for kids to learn because they don’t have a concept of how powerful water actually is. It isn’t something to mess around with, and I’m glad you have enough skills to keep your head above water if you somehow fall into a pool or lake.
I”m with Penny… just sit on the beach, because no matter how great you may or may not get in a pool, its going to be a whole different game in the ocean…. I LOVE the beach, I LOVE the ocean… but I don’t care to get too far into the water because I know how powerful it is… and I just have this thing with all the creatures under there that are MEANT to be there that CAN swim and breath underwater. LOL.