March 5, 2012

  • The Stolen Post

    I've got nothing to write about so I'm blatantly stealing this post from @weirdgirl017 thank you very much.

     

    Last person you showered naked with?
    Ugghhh........I haven't cleaned myself in years.

    Your best friend has sex with your ex, what happens?
    Well for starters I think his fiance would be pissed and confused.

    Your ex wants you back, but you are in a relationship, what do you do?
    Fuck 'em of course!

    What happened last time you got drunk?
    Sorry but I'm legally not allowed to discuss that as part of the terms of my plea bargain.

    Last person to take off your pants?
    A corpse at a funeral. See, you start by getting on top of the corpse and next you............wait, again, violating the terms of my plea bargain.

    If someone said to you "nice ass" you say?

    "Thanks, give me a minute and it will speak."

    Last thing you said out loud?

    "Ugggh, sorry I didn't mean to get it in your hair."

    Last time you laughed your head off?
    Probably when I ran over that old lady.

    What do you want right this second?
    I'm a guy, what do you think I want?

    How are you sitting?
    Upside down. You would be surprised how easy it is to type.

    When you scribble on paper, what do you scribble?
    Cocks

    Where is your family?
    Wait do you mean my "family" because many of them are in the witness protection program.

    Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
    No........fuck I hate getting up early.

    Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
    Not at all, after all I'm so much more tolerable to the drunk.

    Do you find piercings attractive?
    No. Well, maybe some, but only if it improves the blow job.

    Who was the last person you talked to in person?

    Does Oprah count, because I talk to my life sized Oprah statue every day.

    Last December, what was your love life like?

    About as cold as the month of December.

    Was yesterday terrible?

    Well I'm sure it was for some people but not me.

    Would you ever eat a bug for 1,000 dollars?
    Shit for $1,000 I'd fuck the bug!

    Did you reject or accept your last friend request?

    I have friends?

    Whats your favorite number?
    Meh, probably R. Sorry but I don't know the difference between numbers and letters.

    Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
    No, I'm what the French refer to as a really big fucking pussy.

    How many cigarettes have you smoked today?
    Define "cigarette"

    Would you take someone back who cheated on you?
    I think the better question is can I get somebody back that I cheated on?

    If you took a drug test right now, would you pass?
    Yeah, I'd pass..............on taking it! HEEEEEY OHHHHHHH!!!

    What color is your ipod or mp3 player?
    MyPod is silver.

Comments (2)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment