April 29, 2012

• Weekend At Mikey's

  This weekend was the long awaited bachelor party for my best friend J.T. Being that I am co-best man, it came down to me and the other best man to plan the party. Because just about all of the other guys in the group are already married, I aimed big with the thought that this very well could be last bachelor party for the group. I wanted to do a whole weekend of partying, not just one day or night. So the plan was to start on Friday at 8 in the morning and the three of us drive three and a half hours each way to Ho Chunk Casino in Wisconsin. Unfortunately though, the other best man had to work so we were unable to go. But, the groom and I still hung out all day. I was up at 6:30 and all dressed and ready to go when he sent me a text pushing it back until 9. The day was pretty cool though it was just me and him, first we had breakfast at his house then played golf. After a late lunch of pizza, we picked up the keg before heading to the casino to lose money.

  We had plans to play poker at my house at 8:30. We wound up having five guys for poker and as usual it was a great time. We wound up playing until fairly late and then didn't get to bed until almost four. As is the case when I drink, I have trouble sleeping and this was no different. I wound up getting up at about eight in the morning to go to the bathroom and then was unable to fall back asleep. I eventually got out of bed at about 10:15 as we had a jam packed, fun day ahead of us.

  I picked up Dave and J.T. about one and we raced over to Whirly Ball which was about a half hour away. For those of you not familiar with Whirly Ball all you need to know for this story is that you are in a bumper car and are subjected to repeated violent hits. Oh there is more to it, but in the interest of time, this is all I'm saying. The whole ride there my stomach was getting kind of queasy and, well gassy. This is the part of the story that might be too much info, but it is funny so I'm sharing.

  We were supposed to play from 2-4 and right about 1:55 we were standing on the court while the worker went over the rules when it hit me: I urgently needed to go to the bathroom. So off I went to go relive the famous bathroom scene from Dumb and Dumber only this time in a public bathroom. As if it were a scene from a movie, while I was in there, another friend came into the bathroom to tell me to hurry up because they could not start until I signed some paperwork. Ohhh fuck me. Here we are paying a ton of money to play Whirly Ball and I was holding the whole thing up because I couldn't get off the toilet. A few minutes later Dave came in there to yell at me about how I was holding up Whirly Ball for 12 people and to hurry up. So I yelled at him "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE." Man what a funny fucking scene me sitting on the shitter yelling out at him to shut the fuck up. When I finally did finish, I went out there and they had taken care of the signature and were just about to start playing.

  After my eventful time in the bathroom, I realized there was no way I can play as the last thing I needed was to be getting slammed in a bumper car while squeezing my cheeks and hoping. I ran to the local Walgreen's to pick up some Imodium A-D and came back but my stomach was still bothering me and this time I had some very nasty cramps. One of my friends suggested that I not only drink water but drink Gatorade as well. So  back to Walgreen's I went. We were also planning on going to Hooters after Whirly Ball, but I figured that I should skip it. Finally about 3:30 I realized I would be better served if I just went home. I swear that fucking drive took forfuckingever, shit I might as well have been driving to fucking Texas.

  After some time at home and some much needed Gatorade, I was feeling much better. Everybody was planning on being back at my house about 7:30. We have a friend of ours who plays guitar and sings and Dave and I decided to surprise J.T. and have him perform at the bachelor party at my house. The plan was to get him there about 7 so he had time to get set up before J.T. got there. And man it was a close call, but he did wind up getting nearly all set up before J.T. got there. When he walked in and saw that he was going to be playing, J.T. was very excited and kept saying throughout the night that he was "blown away" by him being there. We had a great time singing and listening to him play all the songs we used to watch him play back in the day. Hell, Dave, J.T. and I even got up there and sang REM's "It's The End Of The World As We Know It". All in all, it was amazing and J.T. could not be any happier.

  As for the rest of the night................well........

  • 7:10 pm
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