May 28, 2012

• Sandy Koufax

  Yesterday for the Memorial Day weekend, I had a BBQ at my house. Those of you not located in the midwest, you might not know that it was blistering hot yesterday, in fact I think it was the hottest day of the year so far and honestly, we probably won’t have many days, if any, the rest of the year that were hotter than yesterday. I want to say it got up to about 98 degrees out. All hail the man who invented air conditioning!

  As hot as it was though, it didn’t prevent me from doing the stuff I normally do over the holiday weekend. Such as play basketball in my backyard. The first game I played was against my friend’s 17 year old son. You would think he would whip my ass being in far better shape than me and certainly able to handle the heat better than me. But, I actually wound up beating him. When it was over though, I went inside and proceeded to sweat my ever living balls off. It’s amazing how when you play something in the heat how you don’t sweat as hard playing as you do when you are done playing and are in the air conditioning. I’m sure there is a not so healthy reason for this, but all I know is that the AC felt good.

  Later on after the sun went down and it wasn’t nearly as hot we played some two on two. Somehow, my team managed to win as well. And I was not nearly as hot or tired after that game as I was after the earlier game. And while I started that game drunk, I ended up sober. I must not have drank enough.

  Speaking of drinking, we made something called Rummy Gummies which are exactly what you think they are. See you take a bottle of rum, in this case a bottle of 100 proof Captain Morgan’s spiced rum. You put a shitload of Gummy Bears in a container and you guessed it, add the rum. You then let it sit for five days. We also had some Coca-Cola flavored Gummy Bears which kinda tasted like rum and coke. Good stuff. And after marinating for five days, they were pretty potent. Hell I could have gotten drunk off of those alone.

  Every year a bunch of us play baseball on Memorial Day. Today was not as hot as yesterday but it was very windy which caused for quite a bit of sand and dirt to be whipped up for most of the game. It got so bad I felt like I was in the dust bowl back in the 1930s. But I digress. My brother and I are usually the captains and pick teams. Well this year I thought I picked a fairly good team. When we jumped out to a 13-1 after the first inning, I thought we had a very good team. But, unfortunately any team I’m on sadly has me on the team as well. And I spent the better part of the game fucking up right field, left field, and center field so much that I was nearly solely responsible for my team blowing the game.

  Shit, even on the bases I fucked up as well. One of the times when I managed to get a hit, the ball got away from the guy I hit it to and I decided to run to second. When I got there, I was greeted with a “what the fuck are you doing” from my teammate. So then I got caught in a run down which eventually wound up with me being safe at second but not before I fell and scrapped up my shoulder. Fortunately I did not land on the shoulder I separated some 11 years ago. Also during the game at one point I must have landed awkwardly on my left heel because now it is sore as hell and I don’t know what I did to it.

  This evening I had a wake to go to for my friend’s grandma. Spring/summer wakes are usually a showcase of just how socially fucking clueless people can be. I say this because when you go to a warm weather wake, you are always bound to see assholes who wear shorts. In this case, I saw a few wearing shorts and even flip flops. Hell one guy I saw was even wearing a fucking Budweiser shirt. Although it was a button down shirt, seriously, a Budweiser shirt? Come on people do you think so little of the departed that you can’t even bring yourself to put on a pair of pants no matter how fucking hot it is out. And it wasn’t even like it was teenagers or younger people who did it, hell the people that were dressed like this were at least in their 30s. Hell, I’m pretty damn socially clueless myself most of the time, but even I know to dress up for a wake.

  Anywho, I hope you all had a good weekend.

  • 9:50 pm
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