November 22, 2012

• Finally! A Post

  In all my time here on Xanga, I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without writing a post, if you exclude the times I was out of town and therefore unable to make a post (although I did find a way a few times). So just what the hell have I been doing that I can’t take the time to post? Well I got arrested for public indecency and spent the past week and two days in a Turkish prison after I was extraordinarily renditioned. Did you know you can’t stroll naked through downtown Chicago during rush hour? Well fuck, I wish one of yous would have told me; it really would have saved me a ton of trouble and anal probing. But, nevertheless I am back. And here are some other highlights of my absence, at least when I wasn’t in prison. After all, they did let me out from time to time due to good behavior and sexual favors. See, the key is to get REALLY REALLY good at sucking cock. People actually reward you for that shit, can you believe it? Anywho, a brief summary:

   

  • Friday, November 18 I went grocery shopping with my friend Dave in preparation for our great feast the next day. See, every year for the past, oh, ever, my friends and I have gathered the Saturday before the real Thanksgiving for something we have grown to call Friends Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving. We started out with 13 people but this year had grown all the way to 44 fucking people which meant that there was no way in hell that we can be held in a house. So we moved it to a clubhouse. And this is how I spent Friday my ever so exciting Friday night, running around with Dave from store to store buying all sorts of shit for Saturday. You would think this would be boring, but shopping with Dave is always an adventure in itself.
  • And speaking of Saturday, that was the big day. I got up early, well what is early for me on a Saturday. First I got my hairs cut then headed over to the clubhouse which was about a half hour away to get shit set up. We spent a couple of hours there before heading home to shower and then I returned about 4:15 or so for the rest of what was a fun night filled with great food, friends, and for me a bottle and a half of wine. Perhaps this is why I’ve got gaps in what I remember from the night.
  • Every month my friends and I take part in something we call Project Days in which we take turns working on home improvement projects at each others’ houses. Well somebody thought that the next day would be a great day to do this. Sure it was great because of the TONS of leftovers we had but bad for me who was hanging a little bit.
  • Monday after work was the Bears game against the 49ers. Unfortunately for the Bears, nobody bothered to tell them that they were supposed to play. Fortunately for me, I had some shit to do, so while I had the game on I was only watching it off and on, which in retrospect was fitting because the 49ers were definitely on and the Bears were definitely off.
  • Tuesday night I had a date with a guy who was……………..well he was not my type. Which reminds me, I should message him and tell him that because he was certainly a lot more into me than I was into him. And I never like to leave people hanging.
  • Wednesday I was off work which in theory sounds good and relaxing, but I was pretty much busy the entire day. In the morning, I had a dentist appointment. I spent the rest of the day cleaning my house in preparation for family coming over today. Then I went to dinner with some friends before hanging out at a bar on what is traditionally the biggest bar night of the year.

  And now here we are today. I hope everybody has a fairly decent Thanksgiving, try not to fight with your family too much or if you do, try to make sure you are good and drunk so people have trouble understanding the nasty things you say to them.

  • 3:49 pm
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