February 18, 2013
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President’s Day
So today was President’s Day. Are you like me? Do you have a lot of wonderful and fond memories of old President’s Days past? Was your childhood filled with all the normal traditions of your typical President’s Day? Perhaps now you have children of your own and you have started to pass those traditions onto your own kids. Or maybe you are a childless loser and you just celebrate President’s Day by yourself or with that special someone. Either way, do you have those same traditions? Traditions like:
- Going President’s Day caroling. Aww yeah, this might be my favorite. You get dressed up as your favorite president and go door to door singing all your typical presidential songs. Oh, imagine the joyful look on their faces in that all white neighborhood in Alabama when they open the door to see you standing there looking exactly like President Obama.
- Putting up the replica of the White House in your living room and decorating it with pictures of all the gorgeous first ladies like Barbara Bush, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Mary Todd Lincoln.
- Having your phone illegally wiretapped and your emails hacked by the Secret Service all in the name of national security. Oh, you might not see how your ordering a little blue pill to make your dick hard is a matter of national security, but hey tis the season!
- Laying in bed while your dad reads you the inaugural addresses of former presidents. Hell, nothing puts a kid to sleep quicker than William Henry Harrison’s 8,000 word inaugural speech. Why, the whole family could be asleep in the two hours it would take to read the damn thing. And with any luck, the family members you don’t like will be dead in 33 days, just like Harrison was after his speech!
- Waking up in the morning to find that the ghost of President Millard Fillmore had broken into the house and left you gifts under the replica White House of presidential artifacts. You know, historic things like the dress with Bill Clinton’s cum stain on it, the over sized bathtub William Howard Taft had installed in the White House, and the pretzel George W Bush choked on!
Oh, I just hope your memories are as good as mine are.
Comments (9)
I got nothing.
Good one. Falalala and Hail to the Chief.Do we eat turkey on Presidents’ day?
@whyzat - no in keeping with presidential tradition, we eat our own words
@heckels - or our own feet.
LOL. You’re so funny…idk how you come up with this stuff
I remember a quick ski trip on Presidents’ Day weekend in 8th grade. Ahhhh memories. We took a sleeper bus and my new boyfriend was rubbing my leg under the blanket. SCANDELOUS.
Ahaha!!
@weirdgirl017 - Thanks!
@PennyLumpkins - WHAAAAAA!!!! HOW DARE HE!! my gosh that was close. I certainly hope you learned your lesson and that you are saving yourself for marriage!