Holy fuck I haven’t been on here in forfuckingever! Turns out, Comcast sometimes sucks. I know this because from Tuesday until yesterday my internet, cable and home phone were all down. So how did I survive exactly? Porn. Lot’s of iPhone porn. Oh and the fact that I was so damn busy last week that I didn’t have much time for anything having to do with the internets or television. And you know what? I will be busy again this week, but someday I will be able to not only do a real post but also leave those annoying and intrusive comments that I leave on everybody else’s blogs!

I’ve always loved babies. Now since I don’t have any kids of my own, I don’t have to deal with the crying, the shitting, the vomiting, or any of the other unpleasantness that comes with babies. Sure it is easy for me to love babies if I’m able to cherry pick the good moments. But even when they are crabby they still are adorable in a way. And the tinier the more adorable. Seriously how could you not just fall in love with a little tiny, sleeping baby.  And oh my gosh the laugh. Is there anything as cute as making a baby laugh?

But another thing I love about babies is the potential. I look at the baby and think “shit, what is this baby going to see in his/her lifetime”? How much will the world change between now and when the baby grows up and lives out their lives? If I had to average out the age of the people who read this on a regular basis I would imagine it puts the median age at somewhere between 30-35. Just think about how much the world has changed in the last 30 years. And the more time goes by, the faster the world changes. By the time our lives are over the world is going to be drastically different from the world we entered.

Now think about a baby that is born this year. The world was already moving fast. Life expectancy would have that baby living until, get this, the next century. If that is the case than that baby will probably live through something like 15 U.S. presidencies. And how about the technological advances that child will see. When I was born there was no internet, no cell phones, and it was at the dawn of cable t.v. Now you can WATCH t.v. on your phone via the internet. Back then I bet there was no way anybody ever thought that would be possible. Just think of what we will be doing 80 years from now?

What about the advancements in social causes? There are people alive right now who were born before women had the right to vote. And now not only do they have the right to vote but some of them hold prominent political offices and we are probably not that far off from electing our first female president. When my oldest sibling was born in 1956, parts of the country were still segregated and blacks did not have the guaranteed right to vote. And now? We have a half black president. When I was born in 1975, being gay was still very taboo and for the most part considered wrong. And now? We are probably on the cusp of gay marriage becoming legal everywhere. Can you even possibly fathom the advancements we will make by the end of the century?

All this because of a baby. How awesome is that?

I had an interesting idea for a post which I can’t believe I’ve never written about before: What if I were straight?

I know this is a rather dangerous and rather controversial road to go down but thought it would make for an interesting post. I know that among the gay community we are supposed to have much gay pride and not have any questioning about what if and all that shit, but heck, we all think what if sometimes about many aspects of our lives. Hell, if I were straight, I have done a post asking “what if I were gay?”

First of all, I’m quite certain that if I were straight I would be a full supporter of gay rights. This is something that is fairly consistent with the rest of my uber liberal beliefs. Discrimination of any kind absolutely disgusts me on all levels. And my core belief is pretty much to each’s own; anything that doesn’t hurt other people should be legal. And when you talk about gays, well, it’s nobody’s fucking business what anybody’s sexual orientation is.

But as for my day to day life and what my life would have been like up to now, if I can possibly image that. I’d like to think I’m a good looking guy. And I’d like to think I’m funny. And although neither may be true, this much I do know throughout my life and even still today, I have had quite a few girls who have liked me. It is not a far stretch to believe that I would have been quite the, well, playa when it comes to girls. I lacked a lot of self confidence in my teens but while part of that was just who I am, a part of it was because I was gay. Take away the homosexuality and I probably would have been a lot more confident and able to get girls. Hell, I developed a lot more confidence when I finally came out in my 20s.

Which brings me to marriage. Twelve years ago I met a girl who seemed to be a female version of myself. I don’t believe in soul mates, however if I did she would be it. We hit it off perfectly and have been very close friends ever since. Another friend of mine said she is my “pseudo wife” because if I were straight I would probably be married to her. Then again, even as Illinois is poised to become the next state to legalize gay marriage, I’m still not so certain I ever want to be married. Oh sure, I want the huge kick ass wedding but marriage? Jeez, I don’t know; that is such a big thing.

Although I don’t know if her and I would have any kids yet, I’m also not so certain that I would not have knocked up anybody else along the way. Potentially, my life could have  been drastically different. I could have been ass fucking deep in child support payments, I mean who the fuck knows? Shit I have been known to sleep around now, hell if I were straight and got started when I was a teen and with the potential for pregnancy? I know I’m overall a responsible person but everybody has certain things they are irresponsible with and sex is just one of those things for me.

I guess this is just a little bit of a peek into what my life could have been if things had turned out differently. I’m kinda glad they didn’t though. In a weird way, I feel like I’ve got my freedom now. Hell I don’t have kids with a very little chance of ever having kids, that frees up a lot of time and money to do whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want to do it. Although I’m quite certain being a parent is amazing and a joy, having the freedom to only be responsible for yourself is also a great thing too.

I’ve really got nothing to update but at least feel like I should write a post since it seems like it has been forever since I posted. Then again, I’ve been reading posts by people who haven’t posted in a month or so and here I go less than a week without posting and I think it’s forever.

Still though I just don’t have anything of note to really post about. Of course this happens from time to time not only me but for other people too. Its funny, sometimes I have way to much to write about and can’t seem to find the time to post it all but then other times I’ve got the time but not the ideas or thoughts. Go figure. Anywho, this is all you get for now.

Below are links to part of my show at Second City.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXHEmlfWdc4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbHMQKF1RUw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGFrjIxTU_k&feature=youtu.be

I read this article today (here http://finance.yahoo.com/news/pentagon-needs-12-6-billion-222706531.html should you want to read it) about how the military needs to budget $12.6 BILLION each year through 2037 to pay for the F-35 fighter jets it plans to buy. I have long complained about the amount of money our military spends and quite frankly, wastes. Now I’m not saying that these jets are a waste of money but it just goes to show you just how out of hand military spending has gotten. And this is just for one type of jet. Keep in mind we spend about two billion a week in Afghanistan.

Republicans like to complain and bitch about our nations debt and about the Democrats and Obama’s wild spending. I agree we all need to be very concerned about our debt and our spending. But spending on social programs are not what is driving the debt. It’s not even close. It is all the military, plain and simple. Yet, Republicans remain vastly silent our wild overspending on the military. I’ve said it before and I will say it again and again and again and again til I’m a heavy shade of deep blue in the face: you can’t be taken seriously about our debt unless you are willing to acknowledge and reform our military spending.

We recently had health care reform or Obamacare as people like to call it in our country that depending on who you ask, either saves or costs us a ton of money. And there is talk of immigration reform. And Wall Street reform. Well maybe now it is time for military reform. Certainly there has got to be a better way than paying a defense contractor $103 to do one load of laundry or $48 for a case of soda. If the deficit hawks like the Paul Ryans and Rand Pauls of Congress are actually serious about wanting to cut the debt, than perhaps they should comb through the military budget and find real solutions to drastically cut the cost of the military. Of course, the Republicans excuse is we can’t hurt military readiness by cutting the budget but honestly, are we vastly unprepared if the laundry costs $10 a load instead of $103?

Of course, I’m not an expert in the least on any of this. And I’m quite certain I’ve got very limited facts on military spending. And I certainly don’t know much about how our military budget is divided up. But all I’m saying is that is it honestly right to cut the heat for poor families while the behemoth that is the military goes on lining the pockets of evil defense contractors on the backs of the American taxpayer?

I watched Argo today. For those of you that might not have seen it, you might want to stop reading, go and watch then come back and finish reading because I’m probably going to give away much of the moving, including the ending. Did you know Ben Affleck beats the shit out of an old lady at the end of the movie?

Okay there, so now now we have gotten rid of all the people who didn’t want to read this post which is most of you. The movie is the true story about how the CIA created a fake movie studio and pretended to be making a movie to rescue six Americans from Iran during the Iranian hostage crisis in 1979-1980. Anyway, as we all know by now the movie won best picture at the Oscars just a couple of weeks ago. There is no surprise as to why it won best pic, after all Hollywood LOVES to pat itself on the back and brag about how great they are and this movie does showcase just how WONDERFUL Hollywood can be at times. Although that sounds like I’m being cynical and jaded (and I am), I did actually love the movie. It was very tense and quite the story.

I was blown away by the whole plot and thought of the movie. Honestly, it just sounds made up and like a totally dumb fucking idea. But yet, not only was it true but it also happened to work. And the amazing part is that the whole rescue was kept classified and top secret for 16 years! And while the whole Iranian hostage situation was an amazing and interesting story, I think this might have been more of an interesting story than the story of the 50 others that were held hostage.

The Iranian hostage crisis was the first story I ever remember hearing about when I was a kid. The situation started when I was only four years old and lasted until I was five. It was the earliest memory I have of seeing a news story on t.v. so I guess in a way, it is the start of my formation of understanding current events, even though I did not understand it in the least at the time. I just remember the news reports. It was kind of cool to watch the movie and see some actual archival news footage of that time and be able to fully understand now what happened. And it was even more amazing to know that there was this whole other aspect of the situation that nobody knew about.

As for the movie itself, check it out, you probably won’t be disappointed. Unless you are.

When I was younger I used to like winter. Honestly, I used to legitimately like all four seasons; they all had their positives and negatives. But as I get older, I find myself liking winter less and less each year. A big part of this is the cold. I don’t eat as much meat as I used too; hell I’m practically a vegetarian by comparison. I went from eating meat or poultry nearly every day to eating it maybe once a week. Although I certainly have no clue what I’m talking about, I think that this might be a reason why I get cold so easily and why I have grown to dislike winter.

And then there is the matter of the snow. A couple of years ago we had a massive blizzard here in the Chicagoland area. It was all good for me because I had just bought a brand new snow blower that I was able to use. Unfortunately though, that very day I broke the key off in the snow blower. Although it worked throughout the blizzard, it has not worked since. I did manage to have the key extracted back in November but the damn thing still won’t start. So now I’ve got this nearly brand new $300 snow blower that doesn’t work.

Which brings me to the other aspect of winter that I’ve grown not to like: the snow. Although I’m still relatively young and in good shape, it is not unheard of for somebody my age to have a heart attack while shoveling snow. Also even if I don’t have a heart attack shoveling snow, most people do eventually get a sore back from shoveling. I had some back issues last summer and am concerned that I might have an issue again with my back after shoveling. So I’ve spent most of the winter in fear of a major snowstorm as the last thing I want is to have to shovel snow even though I’ve got a damn near brand new snow blower that I have used once.

We have been very lucky though in that we haven’t had a bad winter. It has not been obnoxiously cold and we have not had a whole heck of a lot of snow. A couple of weeks ago we had a storm that might have dumped oh, about 3-4 inches on us which in the grand scheme of things is not a lot. Today though, we had the biggest storm since the blizzard. Some areas got about 10 inches however we probably got around 6-7 inches. I did spend about 45 minutes shoveling my driveway tonight and though I did not have a heart attack, my back is kinda sore. Either way, I’m pretty much done with winter now; it can go away and not come back until the end of the year or at the very least until after I get the damn snow blower up and running. So if anybody has any ideas on how to get it working please feel free to let me know. And if you have never had the chance to experience shoveling snow, then by all means why don’t you come over and shovel should we get snow again before the month is up.

Every now and then there are certain news stories that I become completely and utterly fascinated with. Since Thursday I have been following the story of the sinkhole that killed a 37 year old Florida man. In case you haven’t heard about the story, the guy was in bed when all of a sudden his entire bedroom was engulfed by a 30 feet wide and 60 feet deep sinkhole and he was literally never seen again. He screamed for help and his brother tried in vain to rescue him but it was of no use. His brother later gave a sad and tear-filled interview discussing how the whole thing went down.

The story is tragic but part of what makes it so fascinating is the fact that it only engulfed the one room; fortunately the rest of the people in the house were okay. I spent the better part of a few days wondering how such a thing happens and then tonight on CNN I watched a report about the whole thing and they actually went inside an actual sinkhole. I was totally blown away by the size and scope of these things. And it appears the water level is almost in a constant state of flux. And what was even more scary is that much of Florida is believed to be over various, random sinkholes. In fact not far from where this sinkhole opened another one has opened between the yards of two houses. Talk about fucking disheartening I mean could you imagine living in one of those houses knowing what happened to that other guy and you wake up and find a sinkhole in your yard?

Of course I had to stop and think if this sort of thing could happen to me. I’d like to think that up here in Illinois the ground is a little more stable but honestly, I haven’t got the first damn clue as to if it is. All I know is that the thought of being buried alive while you sleep has got to be one of the most frightening thoughts one could have as they lay in bed at night. Oh fuck me, why am I so damn neurotic at times?

Outside of my nasty hangover this morning and afternoon, this was one hell of a great fucking weekend. It started on Friday night when as I mentioned before, I would be part of an group from my improv class performing a 15 minute show at Second City. Now I have never performed anywhere so I probably should have been super nervous but I really wasn’t. I was a little nervous but nothing that I couldn’t overcome. Actually I was probably more anxious than anything else; I really just wanted to get to it and have fun.

The show was scheduled for 11 in the pm. I met up with some classmates at a local bar across the street at about 8:30. We hung out there before meeting up with the rest of the class and the teacher at Second City. I had a couple of guys from one of my classes from last term show up along with two of my best friends. As the time got a little bit closer I did get a little more nervous but again, it was not bad and certainly a good nervous. 11 o’clock finally got here and it was showtime. The teacher introduced us as a group and we quickly came out on stage and got started. While I was on stage the entire 15 minutes, I probably performed for a grand total of maybe 90 seconds. I wasn’t hilarious but yet I wasn’t awful either. My goal was not to embarrass myself and I didn’t. Oh and I had a blast and can’t wait to do it again.

After the show we all went out to a couple of bars in the area and hung out. I felt so alive and pumped up; shit I just performed at Second City, how fucking great is that? I got home about 2:30 and was still wired as it took me probably 45 minutes to fall asleep which really sucked because I had to be up by about 7:45 so I could turn around and go right back there by 10 am for my final class of this term. After a great class we went to lunch and hung out for a bit.

After lunch I had to race home and clean. My best friend’s wife is pregnant and I was hosting a poker game at my house in which if you brought diapers you got extra chips. He called it the Poker For Diapers game. I got home about 2:30 (again………only this time in the afternoon) and he got here at 3 and we started cleaning and setting things up. We wound up having about 12 guys for poker. Although I lost I still wound up having a pretty good time and by the time we finished about 2:30 (there’s that time again, I swear I did not plan my weekend around 2:30) I was pretty damn shitfaced although still wasn’t all that tired.

What a great weekend. Where do I go from here?