May 31, 2005

  • Well, thats it. They no longer are letting me show up to work naked.

    I woke up this morning and noticed that my finger has gotten a little
    bigger and a lot more purple. Its not anymore painful than it was
    yesterday, unless of course, I try to bend it or hit it just like this
    ::hits finger against desk:: See, now that hurts. Fortunetly, I’m right
    handed and only do 2 things with my left hand and drying the dishes is
    the other thing.

    I’m going to make myself look bad now. Damnit, people. I need fashion
    help. As many of you already know, I’m clueless when it comes to
    dressing or what matches. For example, for years, I wore brown shoes
    with black pants and never thought anything of it. Until about 4 years
    ago, when my sister in law told me that it didn’t match. About a year
    ago, I was informed that black jeans were no longer in. Now, obviously
    I’m not one of those people that has to always wear or do what is “in”
    at the time. I don’t care too much what people think, but, on the other
    hand, I also don’t want to look like a complete idiot. So, I stopped
    wearing black jeans (it was easy………the pair I did have was
    probably about 6 years old, and as far as I know, they don’t sell black
    jeans in the stores anymore) and got new jeans. Now, a couple of weeks
    ago, it was brought to my attention that black shoes and white socks
    doesn’t match, and brown shoes and white socks don’t match either. Yo
    man, what the fuck. I have always been told that white goes with
    everything, so why not socks? Huh? HUH? And, because I only have ankle
    white socks, I’ve been told that it is even worse to wear ankle white
    socks with brown or black shoes. See, my big problem here, is that my
    so-called friends have never bothered to tell me any of this. Sure, I’m
    always asking them if certain colors match, the least they could do is
    keep an eye on the socks/shoes match-up. Now, I know what you are
    saying “how would they know what socks you had on unless you were
    wearing shorts?” Well, thats the damn thing, I still wear the combo
    with shorts on. That, I’m told, is really bad. Of course, I have only
    being doing this since……….oh, I don’t know, FORE-FUCKING=VER!!
    Shit, its bad enough that the fabric I wear doesn’t
    match, now I have to be concerned with colors too? Its too much, I
    swear. Pretty soon, I’m going to have to have somebody dress me in the
    fucking morning. Is there anything else I need to know? Anything else I
    need to correct? Damn, I’m going to lose my gay stripes. They are going
    to kick me out of the gay club. I like sports (I’ve got the
    Heat-Pistons game on right now and will be watching the Cubs in less
    then an hour,) thats one strike against me. I can’t dance, thats two.
    And, I can’t dress. How can I even be considered gay? Please don’t kick
    me out of the gay club. I don’t want to have to reapply for another
    membership. I just can’t sit through “Oklahoma” again. Oh great, now I
    just admitted that I don’t like musicals. Fuck. All right, just tell
    me, whose cock do I gotta suck to stay in the club? That will prove my
    worth.

Comments (3)

  • What up Mike?!?! People say i’m a good dancer, people say I dress nice, I like musicals, and I don’t like watching sports. Damn I’m really gay huh? I like playing sports though. Anyways, I’ll hit you up on AIM after I’m done with finals. School is killing me. Just two more a couple more weeks of this shit then I’ll be done. But yah, I really do need to enjoy this whole gay experience during this age period. I fear that if I come out of the closet too late my penis won’t be functioning anymore, and poor Little Willy will never get have fun.

  • Haha, you’re like me when it comes to clothes. Well, what I do is call my sister across the Atlantic Ocean and she helps me. So, what are you supposed to wear on your feet with the shorts? Oh, I am right handed too, but I can’t do anything with my left hand. So, what is the other thing you can use your left hand? N.

  • Its okay.  Not all of us have to be fashionistas.  I am fortunate that I can put things together color-wise and I knew about the white socks thing but the other rules of fashion are lost on me.  I wear whatever I feel comfortable in. It is all good.

    I also do not dance.  I can’t understand how people’s hips and other body parts move to the music the way they do. It is amazing.  I like to watch but would never get on the dance floor.

    Fortunately there is not one mold we all fit in.  I am glad that there are gays who can’t dance, like sports and don’t have to have the latest fashion.  On the other hand, it is nice to have those gays who can dance, don’t like sports and can tell me when to where stripes with solids. 

    Diversity is one of the beauties of who we are.  You don’t have to worry about “rejoining” the club.  The fact that you used suck and cock in the same sentence proofs you are gay….

    Enjoy!

    Steve

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