June 5, 2005

• Well, the Cubs winning streak is over. Obviously, it wasn’t going to
  last forever, but hopefully (although, I’m not optimistic) they can
  start another streak.

  Why do people always say goodbye on answering machines and voice mails?
  Think about it. The goodbye is really not appropriate. Not that its bad
  manners or anything like that. Its just that, you aren’t actually
  talking to anybody. I mean, just who exactly are you saying goodbye to?
  The tv (for a home phone) or the person’s belt buckle (for a
  cell-a-phone)? And its not like I’m not guilty of this. I say goodbye
  on voice mails and machines on a regular basis, but I’m trying to
  correct the habit. I recognize the problem……….although to be
  honest, if it is my biggest flaw, then I’m ok (its not my
  biggest……….shit, its probably not even in my top 100 flaws). The
  next time you get a message, listen to it and tell me if the goodbye is
  not a little odd. The way I see it, its a perfect time to get in some
  hang up practice, so that if you find the need for a real hang up, you
  will be prepared. Hell, you could even say as you are leaving the
  message that it is going to be a practice hang up, just in case you
  have the need for the real thing. You always want to be ready just in
  case you need to use a real hang up. Remember, preparation is our
  promise to you.

  Last night was a card game at Scott’s house, which did not start until
  9 in the PM. I got off work at 6 in the PM. I would need to kill time,
  so I headed for the mall. I have realized that its sorta challenging to
  kill 3 hours at a mall when you are by yourself. I arrived at about
  6:02. Shit, I don’t even it think it was that late. Hell, I work across
  the parking lot for Rick’s sake (who is Rick?) I was starving, so I
  headed straight for the food court. Ahhh, what to eat? And so many
  choices, most of them cheap and unhealthy. So, I pushed down some kid
  and stole his happy meal. After that, I decided I would eat something I
  had never had before: Indian food, which scares me because of the smell
  of the curry. The MAN behind the counter let me try some samples of
  some of the food first. I tried some chicken shit and some other stuff.
  They were both pretty good, but I settled on rice, some form of potatoes
  and some fried onions. I also got some sorta soup stuff. And some sort
  of desert. It was all good, but I don’t know if I will be back again.

  After dinner, I headed out on a mission to purchase a birthday gift for
  Dave. He is sometimes, a hard person to buy for. But, I figured, with
  our love of gambling, I could find something. I wound up investing a
  really cool set (well, it was only 100 chips, so it wasn’t much of 
  set, really) of poker chips, which had the denominations on it along
  with the Las Vegas logo. He is going to love them, but will have to buy
  more. This, however, gets him started.

  All right, I should mention something that you never would have known.
  I started this post about 1 in the afternoon. Its now 12:30 in the AM.
  It has taken this long because I decided to type a letter a minute. Oh,
  and the power went out about 1:30 and I wasn’t able to pick up the rest
  of this until now. I was at least semi-smart. While writing this, I
  could see it getting pretty stormy out, so I saved what I had typed
  before the power went out. Now, on with our story.

  I proceeded to wonder around the mall for the next 2 hours. Time seemed
  to be going in slow motion, though. I went into Gamers Paradise and saw
  a really cool-ass Homer thingy that you stick on top of the dashboard
  and when you hit a bump, it is supposed to say something. You can also
  press a button to hear him talk. Upon getting out to my car, I
  immediately placed him on the dash. Turns out, he doesn’t work unless I
  press the button. Damnit!

  Anywho, more info about the mall. All right, honestly, I got nothing
  else about the mall, so I don’t even know why I revisited the topic of
  the mall. I mean, its a mall. You know what a mall is. I know what a
  mall is. The other people reading this know what a mall is. Lets just
  move on and go to something else.

  I arrived at Scott’s about 8:50ish. As soon as I pulled up, I could see
  that his friend from work, Ron, and Ron’s SMOKIN’ friend, Dustin, were
  both already there. Dustin had on shorts. Holy shit, this dude has got
  some HOT HOT HOT legs. Hubba Hubba! As we sat around waiting for people
  to arrive, Dustin kept showing me some neat card tricks he knew. I
  don’t even know if they were all that neat, but he sure was cute.
  Finally, about almost 9:30, we got started. We split into 2 tables of
  5. Suprisingly, I got my ass kicked, I think I finished 7th or 8th.
  After a couple of other people were out, 4 of us started a mini game at
  another table (they since had combined tables) and among that 4 was
  cutie Dustin. In both games, he got up from where he had been sitting
  and sat next to me for some reason. I later found out that it was
  because He said that he needed to watch everybody else. I think this
  meant that he didn’t think of me as that good of a player. Anywho, he
  seems to be naturally gifted at cards, with one exception: he won’t
  fold. He will sit there and tell you that he knows what you have (and
  he is usually right) and he knows he can’t beat you, but he still stays
  in. It was really stupid. He also picked up my tells. I didn’t think I
  had a tell, or at least not one that could be caught, but, he said he
  noticed that when I see that I’ve got something good, my pupils dilate.
  I wonder if he could see my pupils dilate when I was checking him out?

  Anywho, as for that game, this guy Wally and I wound up tying. The
  other game had finished and Wally and I had equal chips and we wanted
  to get started with another game, so we decided to just split the pot
  and start another game. I did good in this next game, I think I
  finished 3rd out of 9. We played another game with about 7 people and I
  was on fire for a good portion of the game. Unfortunately, it didn’t
  last. I wound up second.

  I got to bed about 4:30 and for some insane reason, woke up about
  10:30. I was still tired, but couldn’t sleep, so I got up. The power
  went out at about 1:30 and I was bored out of my mind. After the rains
  stopped and the sky cleared, I actually sat outside and read my Sports
  Illustrated. In case you ever wanted to know how much one could get
  done without electricity, here is a list of things I found to do
  without power:

  1. read SI

  2 dozed on the couch.

  3 cleaned my car (not much, just picked up some crap on the inside)

  4 clipped my toenails (you probably didn’t need to know that, but now you do)

  5. talked on the phone

  6 ate a slice of cherry pie

  7 put some anti-bacteria shit in my waterbed

  8 showered and put on my suit for the wedding.

  I left for Julie’s wedding about 5:45 in the PM. The power still wasn’t
  back on. Even though Don’s wedding was at the same place over 6 years
  ago, I still managed to get lost. The place is tucked away and not
  exactly easy to find. I kept driving right the fuck past the damn
  building. I arrived about 6:20ish. They actually had general seating,
  which sorta sucked, since I didn’t know many people at the wedding.
  There was actually a girl I used to work with at NORC that was there.
  We never liked each other much, but we still sat at the same table with
  some of Julie’s co-workers. There was this one girl there that had such
  a potty mouth, she was almost as bad as a Red Foxx record. Although, to
  be honest, she wasn’t nearly as bad as how Danel used to be. Every
  other word out of Danel’s mouth used to be “Motherfuck this” and
  “cocksucker that”. Anywho, dinner was good. Soon, the picture taking
  dude came around and started taking pics. He asked all the couples to
  get together. I was seated next to an empty seat and he asked me if I
  was with anybody. I shot back that “she was in the can and to just take
  the picture.” This got quite a laugh from everybody at the table. We
  had a fun table, everybody was having a good time.

  After dinner, I went and talked to Dayna’s family (Dayna is Don’s
  wife). I made some jokes and made them all laugh, except for her sister
  and her sister’s husband, who are BIG time holy rollers. As I talked
  and dropped in a couple of swear words (nothing too bad, just words
  like damn or hell) they sat there with their mouths literally open.
  What can I say, though, Christians are my mortal enemies. Meanwhile, I
  continued to tell jokes. Dayna’s parents kept laughing and said I
  should be a stand up comedian. I get that all the time. I don’t want to
  sound cocky, but I know I’m funny. Yet, I don’t have the right type of
  humor to do stand up. Mine is more of a………..how should I
  say…….impromtu comedy. Still, I sometimes feel I missed my calling.
  I really enjoy making people laugh and am fairly good at it. A part of
  me has always wanted to go into comedy, but to be honest, its too hard
  and one has to make it in that field. I just don’t have the desire to
  do as much of the  work as needed to become successful. And I won’t put
  forth the sacrifices necessary, such as relocating or sleeping with
  directors. And, I would not want to deal with the pressures of fame.

  Ever since she was born, I love goofin’ around with Dayna’s 10 year old
  daughter, Kayla. Tonight, I kept chasing her around dancing with her.
  Her 4 year old brother was loving it, and he kept coming up to me
  saying “dance with Kayla.” All in all, it was a great time. Really,
  this post is too damn long as it is, so I’m not going to go into more
  detail.

  • 2:21 am
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