September 24, 2008

• You know there are really 2 things everybody is looking for in a relationship. Well, at least 2 things that everybody wants a partner to be able to do: make them laugh and make them cum. Lots of laughing and lots of cumming. And both of these things can be very hard to do. Both might be the greatest things in the world. Honestly, who doesn’t just love both. You can not describe either one, you just have to experience it for yourself. And sure you can make yourself laugh and you can make yourself cum, but its always much better when somebody else makes you laugh or cum. And it always feels really good to make somebody else laugh or cum. Sometimes its hard to do either. I mean, you can work your ass off trying to make somebody laugh and all you get out of them is a tiny tee-hee. Or you can fuck and suck until your blue in the face (or in some cases, blue in the balls) and still not make the person cum. Then there is me, making people laugh comes very easy to me. I can do it without even thinking. The cumming part…………..well, that’s a whole different story. As for myself, its the opposite, it can sometimes take a lot to make me laugh but not much to make me cum. Or sometimes I’m easily amused and other times it takes forever for me to cum. Shit…………..I’m starting to think that is too much info. I mean, why would I want to post shit like that about myself on the internet for the whole world to see. Then again, nobody reads this so its all good.

  Still if there is somebody out there who can hit the daily double and make you laugh and cum hang on to them. Or if they can make you do both at the same time, then you should find a way to clone them and sell the clones on the free market. Or maybe they can make you laugh so hard that you cum. Or cum so much that you laugh until you cry. Shit, that would be some sort of special fucking person, I’m thinking they would deserve some sort of Congressional medal of honor in the field of laughing and cumming. I mean, I’ve made people laugh so hard before that they couldn’t breath, but to make them laugh so hard that they go pass the non breathing and straight to the orgasm well that’s something really fucking special. Orgasmic laughter…………..that just has a great ring to it, doesn’t it? Maybe if I had a band I could call them Orgasmic Laughter. Ehhhh, still not as good of a name as The Douche Bags of Fashion, Cameron’s Etch A Sketch or Slobercock but maybe a better name than Split Stream.

  I heard a song on the radio today which I have added to my play list. I had never heard the song before but I was told by several people that the song is some 14 years old. I thought it was funny as hell so listen to it above and also you can read the lyrics which I will post here:

  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It’s detachable.

  [ background singing begins:
  "detachable penis" over and over ]

  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think
  it’s gonna get me in trouble,
  or I can rent it out, when I don’t need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  and the next morning I can’t for the life of me
  remember what I did with it.
  First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it.
  So I called up the place where the party was,
  they hadn’t seen it either.
  I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
  ’cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
  But not this time.
  So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
  I called a few people who were at the party,
  but they were no help either.
  I was starting to get desperate.
  I really don’t like being without my penis for too long.
  It makes me feel like less of a man,
  and I really hate having to sit down
  every time I take a leak.
  After a few hours of searching the house,
  and calling everyone I could think of,
  I was starting to get very depressed,
  so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
  Then, as I walked down Second Avenue
  towards St. Mark’s Place,
  where all those people sell used books
  and other junk on the street,
  I saw my penis lying on a blanket
  next to a broken toaster oven.
  Some guy was selling it.
  I had to buy it off him.
  He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I
  talked him down to seventeen.
  I took it home, washed it off,
  and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
  People sometimes tell me I should get
  it permanently attached,
  but I don’t know.
  Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass,
  I like having a detachable penis.

  [ background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
  a while, then out ]

  • 11:18 pm
  • 2 Comments