October 30, 2012
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The Choice
With that cold hearted bitch Sandy slowly making it’s way away from the east coast, it got me to thinking about different natural disasters and which ones I would rather be in. Or better yet, which ones I would least like to be in. I mean let’s face it, nobody WANTS to be in a natural disaster. It’s not like when you are a kid you say “mommy, daddy, when I grow up, I wanna be in an an earthquake!” And when you see the victims of natural disasters on tv, they aren’t exactly happy; in fact they are usually understandably downright miserable. And why not? Yesterday their house was standing and family and friends were all alive and well. Today? The house is a pile of rubble and nobody has seen the cat in 15 hours. Of course, I’ve never been in a natural disaster. At least not much worse than a blizzard or a severe thunderstorm. But, here is how I think I would react when it comes to each of the following:
- Tornado- I live in the Midwest, in particular Illinois in the southwest suburbs of Chicago, an area that is no stranger to tornadoes. One of my biggest fears in life is a tornado; in fact for years I have been having reoccurring dreams about a tornado. But should one ever happen, I’m thinking the first thing I would do before taking cover is to piss myself. Then get embarrassed and that is if I were alone. If I were with people? Well I would piss myself, pass out from embarrassment and hope like hell somebody was not repulsed enough to drag me to safety.
- Blizzard- Okay, so technically a blizzard is a natural disaster. But, when you are sitting in your comfy warm home, it is not that big of a deal. And of course, I lived through the major blizzard of February 2011, but how would I react had I been one of those sorry people stuck on Lake Shore Drive? Oh that’s easy. I would have died. I would have gotten out of the car, been so hungry that I licked a metal pole and froze to death.
- Hurricane- See, I think I could be okay with this one. First of all, as you can tell I’m a total fucking pussy. So the first time they said hurricane, while you might want to leave, I would jump right the fuck in my car and speed the hell out of town. And then it’s a road trip and I love road trips. I won’t even get into how I would react if I had stood behind because no fucking way I’m staying.
- Earthquake- Oh, this one sounds like the worst one of them all. Hell I freak out if I’m in an elevator that is a little bouncy. When we hit turbulence on a plane, panic and stick my head in between my legs. If I were walking and the earth started to move? There is not a chance in hell I would not instantly shit myself. And if I were sleeping when it started? Man, that would be the worst, I would wake up and not have a clue what the fuck is happening and therefore would already be in full panic mode. Shit, every night I’m worried I’m going to die in my sleep a damn earthquake ain’t’ exactly going to help things.
- Fire- I’ve always been the type that occasionally plays with matches and lighters. But those are small fires. A major fire? Well that’s a total different story. It’s not like it is smoke that comes from a joint. This is real smoke that burns and kills. Just the mere thought of a flame right now and I’m ready to throw the monitor through the window. In a real fire my chances of survival are about as good as the Cubs chance of winning the World Series.
But, my hat’s off to those people who put their lives on the line to help and rescue people during these horrible disasters. These people are heroes and do things that I could never do.
Comments (4)
Geez, if I were around you much, I would always carry anti-bacterial wipes in my purse. If you’re going to shit or piss yourself at the slightest sign of natural disaster, I want to be ready! Oh, and some warm water to get your tongue off the pole!
Seriously, just looking at the pictures of the aftermath makes me want to burst into tears. And those Coast Guard swimmers who saved that ship’s crew!! Holy crap, what’s wrong with them? Brave guys.
While we were on vacation, the fire alarm went off in one of the hotels we stayed at–in the middle of the night, of course. It’s kinda funny to see everyone drag themselves out of their rooms, grumbling, and walking down stair after stair. It was pretty irritating that I never saw anyone from the hotel telling us what was happening. Everyone just went into the lobby, got on elevators and went back to bed! It’s the third or fourth time it’s happened to me. Nobody ever tells us what happened–all we know is that it wasn’t a fire!
@whyzat - haha……….well i did kind of exaggerate for comedic sake. for the most part, i do remain calm, yet worried. yeah i cant imagine living where Sandy hit. those poor people…….and you are right they are phenomanly brave
Natural disasters also bring out the idiots in droves. I wish the brave first responders didn’t have to bother with the fucking morons who ignored evacuation requirements. They take the time and energy away from people who obeyed the rules and still end up fucked. Hurricane and flooding seem like the worst to me but I drove through Joplin and the tornado damage was absolutely breathtaking, in the worst way possible.
Hurricanes seem to give more warning that tornadoes though. Earthquakes don’t have any warning which makes me scared as well. We have had some in Tulsa that are big enough to feel in the last year. I feel like I should prep for the next disaster but I never do.
@PennyLumpkins - yeah nothing brings out the best or worst in people than a crisis or natural disaster. Of all of them though I think an earthquake is the last one I would want to be in.